Before I met you,

my life was good.

Leaves were falling,

wind was blowing,

moon was shining.

You came in and brightened my world 

brighter then it’s ever been.

So bright it blinded me from seeing anything past your smile or even your glance.

I was fooled,

and when it came time to say goodbye 

you took everything.

You left me blind. 

I couldn’t see the leaves falling or feel the

wind blowing.

I couldn’t see the moon shining over me. 

With all the light you brought in,

you took whatever I had.

You left me less than I was,

Before I met you. 

This poem is about how someone came into my life and made me so happy, happier than I’ve ever been with an individual, whether it be in a relationship or friendship, this person made me happy. I loved them with all my heart, no matter what they did. They could break my heart and I’d still hope one day they would put the pieces back together, but in the moment I was holding the pieces waiting for them to start reciprocating the love. I waited long, but the longer I stayed the harder it was to hold on. I had put so much effort, care, and love into that person, I believed that they were the one. It was as if I was hypnotized -under a trance- because every time they smiled at me I would melt and forgive him, every single time. I really believed he would change, I really believed he would love me as much as he said he would. 

Love isn’t just a word, it’s an action. You can say it as many times as you want but you have to show someone you love them for it to carry the same meaning. 

I was the happiest I ever felt with them, the highest of highs, but they also brought me to my lowest lows. I’ve never felt that happiness again, but I’ve felt a lot more lows. Maybe that’s why for so long I thought they were the one, because they gave me this feeling of joy. It felt as if they brought in so much happiness, it blocked out the pain they were injecting into me. When it was over, not only did they take all the happiness they poured on me, but all the happiness I had from before them. Everything I had was ripped away from me and I was left with less than I started with, yet it was love.

 You can’t force yourself to love someone, even if you want to and they’re perfect. 

They wanted to love me, they tried to love me. My version of love is different than theirs. We spoke different love languages and that’s why it didn’t work. I really believed that they were the one when I couldn’t get over them, lots of time would go by and I would still long for them to come back and love me the way I wished to be loved. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and even though I was trying my best to move on, months turned to a year. The biggest mistake I made was keeping everything that reminded me of them. Everytime I missed them I would turn to the things I have and remember the good times in the relationship, forgetting about all the bad. When you miss someone, you miss the good things, the happy moments, the reason you were in love, but you don’t remember the fights, the things they did that hurt you, and all the nights you spent crying. When I realized my mistake, I threw everything away, I deleted pictures and I was definitely ready to move on this time. I didn’t give myself the opportunity to dwell on the relationship, when I did that I stopped hurting as badly, I stopped missing him as much, and I stopped longing for deep inside -even if I convinced myself I wasn’t.

“I loved you, I loved who you were when we were together and happy. I loved who I was when I was with you and how you made me feel. As time went by the more you changed. I still loved you, but it was getting harder and harder to hold on. I miss you. I miss who you were, and how you were when we were together. I miss us -when we were good. I miss being good. But I don’t think I love you, because I don’t love what you’ve become. I don’t miss you, because you aren’t who I fell in love with anymore.”

The poems I have shown today are about someone who was in my life for a short period of time, but left the biggest imprint anyone ever has. For a little while I wished that I had never met them so I didn’t have to feel like sh*t now that they’re gone, but it only took me a little bit of time to realize how many lessons I was taught through the relationship. You should never regret anything you have done because you can’t change the past, but you can make the future the way you want it. Every decision you make in your life teaches you something, I don’t think you ever waste your time doing anything. You can spend it unwisely, but during that time you learned something. You learned to do things differently and how to avoid those situations for the future. Don’t waste time regretting things you did, take time and think of things you need to do. 

It’s okay to miss someone who isn’t in your life anymore, but what’s not okay is hoping you still have a chance in the future. In order to move on you need to become independent and have self respect, self love, and self confidence. Moving on is important because it gives you an opportunity to grow into the person you need to be alone. Become strong and loving yourself first. You don’t need to move on to someone else, but move on to yourself. Learn to love you, care for you and make you happy. You will learn self worth, you will learn what you want and you will get it. When you have values and morals, you will have standards won’t settle for less.