So many people around yet I still feel alone.

After all this time, I thought I had finally grown

I don’t understand why

These feelings won’t die

Everyone at home loves me

But I’m far from home, I’m lost at sea

Not swimming, I’m drowning

No one notices because…

I’m smiling, not frowning

It’s like something is missing or not yet here

Please just hold me and whisper in my ear

“You are loved”

“You are cared for”

Because I don’t understand this pain

But it comes just as often as it does rain

I know you love me, because it is shown

So many people around yet I still feel so alone.

This poem I wrote is about issues that no one sees, the pain no one else feels. Sometimes it’s easier to hide the way you feel rather than talk about it, but that’s only going to make you feel worse. I know when you feel down and upset, you don’t want to get up and do things that will take that pain away, you just want to sleep and forget about everything but instead you end up thinking of more ways of why you should feel like sh*t. 

It’s a cycle, you will continue on with your life as you did before until everything becomes too much and you get back to feeling the way you did before. The more you hide it, forget about it, and pretend to move on will only make things worse. What you need to do is get up and talk to someone about it. Get help, go to therapy, or find ways to heal. Forgetting about it and moving on, only to feel the same way again will eventually lead to it getting worse. 

When I don’t feel good, I like to jot my feelings down and write sentences. When I wrote the draft of this poem I didn’t feel good, I felt lonely and overwhelmed. Once I felt better I turned it into a poem. I write poetry to understand my feelings and connect with myself in an artistic way. I want them to feel my poetry if they’ve gone through similar things or felt similar emotions. 

Sometimes my memories are so clear. 

From the nights I played them in my head, smiling from ear to ear. 

A happiness so pure I wanted to feel twice. 

Not knowing that later I’d have to pay the price. 

Now feeling as if those memories will never leave. 

Crying out in vain 

                   HOW COULD I BE SO NAIVE 

That happiness has turned into pain. 

The happiest memories began to drive me insane.  

I’m not smiling anymore, tear after tear. 

Sometimes my memories are so clear.

 

I used to be so happy thinking about some memories with people, I wanted to relive those moments over and over again making them so clear. I didn’t care to think that when those people aren’t in my life anymore, I’m going to feel so much pain remembering them so clearly.

I wrote this poem when I heard a song, it took me to a certain memory and all the feelings came back, I felt as if my stomach was getting squeezed and wrenched. I hated that feeling. The longer I waited to really get over that person, the deeper in trouble I was getting. Although I convinced myself I was over this person, I wasn’t. I really wanted to be, but I did nothing to let myself let them go. Later on I learned how to move on and I felt much better, 

I have no advice on how to feel better after this, I think the only thing you can do is move on. That’s the hard part, you can convince yourself you’re over it but then come crashing down again at the sight of them or something that reminds you of them. My biggest advice on this is, you have to want to let go. You can’t let go of someone who you still have a connection to, get rid of things that make you miss them. Once you’re able to let that part of your life go, it won’t bother you as much, and you won’t react as badly as you used to. Maybe occasionally you will miss your relationship with them and that’s okay, it was a big part of your life and you’re allowed. What’s not okay is hoping for them in the future, having hope that one day they will finally be the right person for you. If they didn’t try to be good for you when you were together, then they didn’t value you and your relationship enough to be given a chance after they already lost the opportunity. 

The two poems I added here are easily my favourite ones, the deep meanings and the way they turned out is by far my best work yet. They are also very relatable to the point that if anyone who has ever lost someone or is feeling upset that someone isn’t in their lives anymore, they will understand how I felt in that type of situation through this poem. Another reason why I love writing poetry is so I can connect with my readers and give people an opportunity to understand me. My goal is to have a platform where people feel comfortable enough to connect with my writing and reach out for help and/or to chat. 

Understanding your emotions is beneficial because part of the healing process is knowing what you feel, why you feel that way, and how to resolve it. When you know what causes you pain, you can take steps to eliminate it. Whether it be people in your life that do nothing but make you upset, or objects that carry lots of memories and restrict you from moving on. Once you know your feelings and why, you can slowly learn to deal with them or remove them from your life -even if it is really hard.