Time: 2:00PM
Day: May 4th.
Location: New Westminster Quay
Occasion: A tinder date.
We’ve all been there, right? First date jitters. Going out with someone you’ve only talked to online, or a handful of times in person. It can be daunting. I knew that the best way to combat these nerves was take this girl somewhere I knew well, somewhere I would feel comfortable. I also knew my date liked photography, so what’s a spot I’m comfortable in that is also super photogenic?
The New Westminster Quay!
Filled with cute diners, a scenic of view of the water and people walking their dogs everywhere. It’s the perfect spot for a first date. The plan was to get lunch, walk around a little bit, and take some photos of the scenery. Sounds like a plan, right? Who doesn’t love the Quay? You’ve got good food, good views, and the majesty of the tallest tin soldier in the world!
Hold on a second.
Wait, what?
That’s right! Standing at 9.75 metres and weighing over 4,000 kilograms, this large lad is the biggest boy of them all.
The Big Man himself! In all his glory. Photo from here.
“Nels. What does a tinder date have to do with a tall tin soldier?” Don’t worry – I’m getting to it.
You see, I love the tin soldier. He’s one of my favourite things about living in New Westminster. He’s a symbol of the city, a tourist attraction, and a source of pride for our fair city. So I figure “Hey, this girl like photography, let’s take her to see something worth taking a picture of.” So we meet up at the New West station and begin walking over to the Quay. Things are starting off pretty good. General chit-chat, joking around, and sharing a few laughs here and there.
That’s when I do it. That’s when I drop the bomb on her.
“Are you ready?” I ask.
Immediately the tone shifts a bit. I detect a bit of suspicion, maybe even some tension. Have I messed it all up?
“For what?” She asks, suddenly a little more apprehensive.
Alright. This is it. Time to WOW her.
“For the world’s tallest tin soldier!”
Crickets. Oh man, I blew it.
“Huh, I guess that’s pretty cool.”
Suddenly my spirits are bit higher. Oh yeah, this is going to go great.
After a short walk we arrive. “Get your camera ready” I tell her “You’re going to want to get lots of pictures.” She walks over. Looks up at it.
….And…?
“That is the stupidest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.” She says, laughing. “Oh my God, it’s so ugly.” She snaps a few pictures of it. “Please tell me there’s other things around here.”
Well, that didn’t start out too well.
The rest of the date went fine. We got sushi, walked around some more, and agreed to meet up again. We hung out a few more times but it didn’t really work out.
So why write about this? What is the point I am trying to make? That you can judge the compatibility of two people based on how they react to a big tin soldier? Nels, come on. You don’t really believe that… do you?
Oh, I do. I definitely do.
When I first started dating my current girlfriend there was many times we’d walk around the Quay. We both are familiar with the area and both enjoy the many bars and restaurants around it. One day we are walking by the tin soldier and she remarks
“You know, I’ve always loved him”
“Oh yeah, me too.”
“Cool”
That’s when I knew things would work out just fine. Yes. I am being serious. See, when you first start seeing someone it’s important to find what things you have in common. Often times you are able to figure out how well you’ll get along with someone and how compatible you are based on the things you like. In this case it was the tin soldier. Now obviously I think my girlfriend and I would still be together even if she said she hated the tin soldier, but I think the fact that we both like him is some type of indication. It shows that we are into the same type of art and find the same sorts of things interesting. Yes, it is just a goofy tourist attraction – but I know that I can show my girlfriend dumb things like this in the future and she’ll enjoy it. That other girl? I doubt it.
To be perfectly honest with you I only ever really thought about this in hindsight. Both instances of talking about the tin soldier seemed very insignificant at the time but they both have always stuck out to me whenever I walk by him. It’s one of those lessons I learned without realizing it was a lesson. Maybe I’m talking nonsense, maybe I’m only writing this because I have to write a 1,000 word article for school and was desperate for an idea, or maybe I’m onto something.
I think it’s important to have some type of barometer for when you meet people. It’s good to show them things you look and see how the respond, it could seem trivial at the time but sometimes these small can be indicators of what you do or don’t have in common.
Maybe your “tin soldier” is a type of food, a movie, or a book. It’s something that isn’t a dealbreaker, but it’s something that can also indicate what type of person you are hanging out with.
So the next time you go out with that Jane – the postcard artist from Tinder, Todd – the guy who always compliments you on your choice of water bottle, or Sam – your friend’s brother’s junior hockey teammate’s cousin. Think about what your “tin soldier”. Maybe it won’t be a deciding factor, but it can help get the conversation going.
Just make sure you don’t love a giant tin solider more than your partner. That could make things a little bit awkward.