Broken Ambition

Imagine yourself with a week left in your semester. Ten months of school with a mere three or so weeks of break somewhere in between. It is the picturesque finale that is accompanied by the turn of the season, and the burning sensation of fatigue. You then question your own intentions, morals, and long-term goals. The ‘home stretch’ notion is just a facade that hides its true nature; the degree of which you can muster non-existent energy to push yourself to your own absolute psychological breaking point. Compare yourself to the bright-eyed first year student prior to beginning first semester. The embodiment of drive and energy; nothing could have broken your ambition.

Among all these figurative comments, I’m unsure about what my contention is for this piece. Call it word vomit, or a splurge of thought. Maybe I’m doing it for the money. I’m just trying to find some creative release for the past two hundred hours of studying. Naturally so, I like to express. But not as loud propaganda. Through quiet blogs, and smaller WordPress platforms, where my piece is embedded in a sandstorm of other media.

So I’ve asked myself multiple times, what is it all for? Years of blood and sweat, for a paper-copy verification of experience. Don’t mistake my thought processes as dislike for the system. I’m not at all denigrating the paradigm of education. Education is, in my opinion, the most well-invested sector in a global economy littered with financial goals and corporate strategies. In the midst of having to sit by myself in a quiet room for thirty-seven weeks of the school year, it gives you a lot of time to think. A lot of time that helps you digest the moment. If you were to pass tomorrow, your life belongs to the grind. To all those numbers you crunched. To all those spreadsheets that you constructed.

It’s just a thought.

“Moody Mountains” – Shot by Mark



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