will write more

They may call you hard-headed. But then again this article is all about ignoring the outside world and listening to the beat of your own heart. So let them call you hard-headed, and stop compromising.

Allow me to expand.

The following is a short story.

8 am

It was a hot summer’s day on the North Shore. Penelope was roaming around the halls of her mansion looking for the coolest spot on the premises. As the clock turned 8:13, she heard the phone ring. It was not unusual for the phone to ring. And on a regular day, Penelope would ignore the call. But not today. Today was different. As she swayed to her dining room to take the call she realized upon answering that it was her personal assistant Pillo.

“Hello, Pillo, why are you calling me so early in the morning?” she insisted to know.

“Penelope I need you to meet me by Coal Harbour” He requested and quickly hung up shortly before Penelope had a chance to respond.

Penelope became puzzled, her assistant had never acted like this. She sat in her study for a bit contemplating her options. She grabbed a flower and pulled out the petals one by one repeating “I will fire him; I will not fire him”. Eventually, the last petal fell and she decided that she would go to Coal Harbour to fire him.

9 am

Penelope began getting dressed to leave her house, she put on a floral white dress, a straw hat, and a medium-sized leather purse. She grabbed her thermos from the kitchen cabinet and dispensed ice inside of it from her fridge. She was ready. She was ready for the Starbuck Blonde Roast Iced Coffee that she bought especially because she knew a heatwave was about to hit the city. She opened the fridge door and looked inside. She remembered that she left the coffee right beside her gold-infused liquid Ativan. And the Ativan was there. But the iced coffee was gone. It was not in the fridge at all.

Penelope began to feel disoriented and afraid. It came to her though that she had made Pillo stock up her underground bunker with as many cases of iced coffee as he could find. She quickly moved to the bunker, only to discover that there was no iced coffee there anymore.

She stepped back in a panic and quickly went to her greenhouse. Her greenhouse was long the one place on her property that made her feel safe and at peace.

10 am

The day only got hotter as the morning passed by. Penelope was drenched in sweat. Her white dress was dripping all over her plants in the greenhouse, which was not the most effective way to water plants, but it was efficient.

Penelope was angry and distraught. Who would dare enter my house? Who would take my stuff? Why did they only come for my iced coffee? Were the thoughts that ruminated in her head. She knew she needed to find the answers to her inquires and so she picked up her phone and called the woman she knew would have to help her.

At around 10:33 am, Penelope called Melanie No Felonies, the local private investigator on the north shore. The dial tone quickly turned into an automated phone menu system. The robot lady said, “press one if your situation is dire”.

Penelope aggressively clicked on one. She was directly transferred to Melanie.

“Hello, this is Melanie” She answered the phone.

“Melanie, it’s Penelope” Penelope introduced herself assertively.

“Penelope? Why are you calling me?” Melanie’s voice was hesitant and cautious, she got up from her desk chair to close her office door and shut the blinds.

“I need you to help me solve a case, meet me at my place ASAP” She demanded.

“I can’t Penelope, you know that I have my own thing going on and –“ she was quickly interrupted before she can finish her thoughts.

“Don’t forget what I know about you, and who put you in the office you’re in. Everything I gave you I can take back. And when I take things, I leave you with less than what you started with, which in your case is very little” she aggressively stated.

“You think that’s appropriate, going around threatening people in this town because you know something about everyone. Did it ever occur to you that I wouldn’t be so reluctant to help if you weren’t such a cunt?” she clapped back.

“Melanie, I haven’t had any coffee today. I need you at my house right now. In fact, you should already be on your way” She furiously suggested.

Melanie paused for a few seconds. She knew she had no choice and would have to oblige her. But in her eyes, you could see how trapped she felt.

“I’m on my way now,” she said.

12 pm

Melanie had finally arrived at Penelope’s house. She started by conducting a thorough inspection of the grounds. This was something she did flawlessly. It was the past that taught her to make sure she sifted through every shelf, every counter top, and even in the crevices in between furniture.

3 pm

Penelope grew impatient with Melanie’s slow moving investigation. She approached her with a restless attitude and stated “Rimpillo is waiting for me, you need to hurry”.

“Rimpillo is waiting for you? Does he have access to your home?” She inquired.

“He does have access to the house…” Penelope knew what Melanie was suggesting, that Rimpillo might be a suspect in the case.

“Penelope, where is he waiting for you, we can go ask him if he knows anything” She proposed.

And so they walked out to the courtyard and hopped in Melanie’s Corvette.

4pm

Melanie and Penelope finally arrived to coal harbour, only to discover the truth: Rimpillo was surrounded by an abundance of iced coffee. Penelope was properly smiling for the first time all day. She enjoys to see those who have taken from her suffer. And suffer he did. Rimpillo had the authorities escort him into a police car where he would eventually be convicted and charged with high treason.

Before he got in the car Rimpillo said something that stuck with Melanie:

“Sometimes there’s no point in running the city dry of products just because you have the money to do whatever you want”.

Melanie understood what he meant. These rich people that can afford to leave the rest of us with nothing if they really wanted to, it meant that the city was corrupt. And what should become of a private investigator who is corrupt.

Imagine this: You finally move to the big city with your best friend after the two of you had dreamed about it for decades. Nothing felt more triumphant than facing the busy streets of Vancouver with your childhood bestie, that you love like family. Though nothing felt worse than when they left you shortly a couple of months after moving. They met the “love of their life” and they were ready to move on friendship-wise. After all, the city was oozing with networking opportunities and you’re just not enough anymore.

That was the narrative of a friend of mine that I worked with at a garden center over the summer. We formed a deep connection because we both were going through a lot of emotional turmoil when we met.

The truth is, sometimes the world feels like it’s conspiring against us, especially if many unfortunate and bad things happen to us in a short period of time.  I want to make this article for you folks who are going through something big in your life. Let this be your gentle guide.

I remember the moment that I began feeling like the land I stood on could not carry me. It was a feeling I got after breaking down. The breakdown was so poorly timed and I needed to go to work shortly after. So I picked myself up and reminded myself that I had to do my best to keep my performance up. I felt so powerful at that moment that I began to fight back as much as I could.

I started making meetings with counselors, seek support from friends and family, going to the gym, eating healthier, trying to focus on my career a lot more, etc. And I found that in doing all those things I started to really find peace within myself even when there was chaos surrounding me.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross theorized the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). I found that acceptance was the beginning of reclaiming your life. I, therefore, wanted to introduce the 5 stages of reclaiming your life. The first is acceptance.

Acceptance

Acceptance is when you can finally allow yourself to acknowledge what happened to you had a massive impact on your wellbeing. It’s to finally allow yourself to express what’s inside on the outside as well. Your reality becomes more clear to you. As much as I believe that people need to take the time they need to reach this point, I also want to assert that each moment you are alive could be greater than the next.

In this stage, you might start to notice that you are being expressive and transparent with yourself about the situation you’re going through.

Compassion

A big part of resiliency is reaching out to others for support. People can offer wisdom, compassion, and a feeling of belonging if they share similar hardships in their life. But compassion also extends to yourself. A massive problem I dealt with was self-doubt. I felt like because I had gone through so many bad things, that the problem might be me, or that maybe I couldn’t trust myself anymore. It became clear to me though, that I lacked compassion for myself.

Everything that we go through in this life offers some kind of lesson that we may have not had the opportunity to learn in another part of our lives. Be sure in yourself and allow yourself to learn from your grief rather than resent yourself for it.

Goal Setting

Start a manifestation journal. Or set out goals for yourself. If your life had become disrupted by grief, then it’s a good time to ask yourself where you want to see yourself in 3 months? For myself, I set out to work out more regularly, increase professional connections, work more on my personal portfolio, and become less avoidant.

What could be improved in your life? What can make you more fulfilled? There are many aspects in your life that you could attempt to improve. Of them could be Social, Interpersonal, Professional, Mental, Spiritual, and Physical aspects.

Execution

Building habits is all it takes to work toward goals that you have. Unfortunately, building habits can be difficult. Knowing how habits work could be a good way to start. Habits work in a sequence of neurological events called habit loops. It consists of: A cue, a routine, and a reward.

Cues are anything that reminds you of the habit you want to partake in. Going to the gym at the same time every day, time of day becomes your cue. Cues are all about building associations. If you have a changing schedule, your cue can be associated with what you’re feeling. For example, on any day that you are feeling anxious, anxiety could be your cue to work out that day.

The routine is the desired behavior. What do you want to do every morning for yourself? What habits do you want to incorporate into your life?

The final element is the reward. Treat yourself when you feel like you had a healthy and productive week, your body deserves it.

Maintenance

The last step is the most self-explanatory but also probably the hardest. For one it has an indefinite quality to it. For another, it’s easy to fall off of routines that you’ve built especially if you haven’t done them for a long time. I would say that so far I have maintained some healthy habits by always reminding myself what I want in this life. Don’t get lost in the crowd, always know yourself, and where you’re going.

My grandmother always use to tell me to study hard, work hard, and eat healthily. She would express what she wants to see me achieve and then always end by saying “and I’m telling you this because you are precious and you deserve the best”. Reclaim your life, and give yourself what you deserve.

“If you hold your hand closed, nothing good can come from it. The open hand is blessed, for it gives in abundance, even as it receives”?

Biddy Mason

The cold case of  Rhona Duncan’s murder has recently resurfaced to the publics’ attention. Rhona Duncan was pronounced dead on July 15^th of 1976. Her body was found after she was raped and strangled. It is unclear if RCMP are still actively trying to resolve the case

“Absolutely I think the RCMP should – why should this case be passed over if they have the technology after all these years the family deserves some form of closure”

Canadians believe that it would be worth a shot to use modern technology to solve this decades-old case.

Rallies in the US were scheduled to protest abortion rights ahead of the new supreme court term

“We know now that we can’t take our rights for granted”

1000s marched to the supreme court days before a new term begins. The new term could overthrow the Roe vs Wade decision that protects women’s ability to have an abortion. A long fought for liberty could come to an end-setting women’s rights back to the 70s.

The secrets of the wealthy have been exposed yet again, and Canadians are furious.

“Obviously upper-class people who make a shit ton of money should have to pay taxes why should we have to as poor fucking people 50% of our paycheques are taken, when 50% of their paycheque will cover a whole lot more than ours”

11.9 million files were included in the Pandora Papers which have leaked the offshore accounts of politicians, celebrities, and billionaires. The leaked files show that officials around the globe including Canada have held assets through tax havens.

This year the federal government has recognized September 30^th as the National Day of Truth and Reconciliation. This day was assigned after 215 unmarked graves were found on former residential schools in Kamloops this summer

“I would like to see our voices finally be heard for us to be recognized and for it not to continue in different forms you have the day-school, foster care, the child welfare system, I want to see all of that be abolished”

Booths were set up around the city to mark the occasion, and as you heard this day is only just the beginning of the long road to reconciliation

Recent research by Dalhousie University suggests that Canadian food price rises is close to double what statistics Canada suggests, heres what one Vancouverite had to say about her recent grocery bills

“Right now we have to spend more on groceries and so we have less for other things, like other things, most of the things, the inflation affects everything but food is one of the things that maybe affects the family”

The study shows that the recent inflation is a response to COVID-19 and climate change.

Pandemic got you down? Can’t travel?

Well, I have a solution for you. Plan a trip around Europe. Plan it and it will make you feel a whole lot better even if you’re unsure if you can take it. Plan for next summer. Or for next, next summer. And let me be your resource.

The first thing to do is to pick your hub. Pick a city within Europe to act as your first and last point. This method can get you the best prices and I’ll explain that more later.

Next you need to make a list of things you want to see. Ask yourself questions like how many museums you want to visit? How long you’re willing to stand in lines? What kind of climate do you want to see?

Then start planning how you’ll move around the continent. It’s cheap to travel around Europe once you’re in Europe. Local websites and travel agents can make the trip more economical. Or even just taking local transit. And that’s why it’s better to pick a hub and book a roundtrip from there. There are drawbacks to this. If for whatever reason you have a delayed flight and you end up missing your outbound flight, the airline you booked with won’t be able to rebook you if the delayed flight wasn’t part of their ticket.

If you picked a city in the UK as your hub you can check out sites like https://www.wowcher.co.uk that sometimes offer prices as low as 39GBP for a flight and a 4-night hotel stay in Amsterdam.

Then make sure you have one city in either Spain and Portugal. Two cities from Italy, France, and Greece. One city in Germany. One city from Denmark, Sweden, Netherlands, and/or Norway. And finally, pick two cities from the UK and Ireland.

That way you ensure that you travel a full circle around the continent.

That’s all the advice I have for planning your trip to Europe. The more detailed you get about how you will travel across the continent, the more you will get an accurate picture of the budget you will need.

Featured photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash