I am 20 years old now. That is quite young—no doubt about it. However, I’ve experienced a major shift in my life since turning 19. So let me give you a bit of backstory. I turned 19 in October 2023, and when that happened, I started going out a lot. I met my two best friends, and we spent a lot of time together. The weather was still pretty cold, but we didn’t let that stop us. We were going out every weekend—drinking, partying, and just living life.

It became a routine: Friday night, Saturday night, different bars, different places, but the same cycle of drinking and partying. It was wild, fun, and exciting because everything felt so new to us. And while the fun was undeniable, waking up hungover for Saturday morning shifts? Not so much. Regardless, those nights made for some great memories. We probably still will have some in the future, but lately, I feel like we’ve all taken a pause on that lifestyle—at least, I know I have.

This all happened before I got into a relationship, and things really changed after that. My boyfriend drinks and enjoys a good party, but for me, I’ve slowed down. I just don’t have the same desire anymore. I don’t miss waking up hungover, feeling sluggish, or dealing with the aftermath of heavy drinking. It’s weird because I used to be a tequila girl, but now I’m a one-drink-only kind of person. Mixing drinks? Absolutely not. And honestly, one particular night changed everything for me.

Let me paint the picture. It was a summer night, and my coworkers, friends, boyfriend, and I decided to go out. We got ready, looking cute, taking pictures, having fun at the pregame at my place. Then we headed to Tap House, a bar in Coquitlam, to meet up with more friends. The night started off great—we got a huge jug of some jungle juice, started taking shots, drinking, dancing, and just having a blast. But at some point, I blacked out. Genuinely do not remember what happened for the time we had at Tap House. However the one thing I remember is my friends scamming dudes for toonies to play a basketball game in the arcade section but they were just snatching toonies for fun lol.

I remember walking to Denny’s afterward, but it’s all a blur. My boyfriend had to carry me because I could barely walk. We got to Denny’s, and I sat at a big table with everyone, but then I just disappeared to the bathroom. And that’s where the real nightmare began—I threw up twice, everything I had eaten (which wasn’t much). My best friend held my hair back, and all the girls in my group were checking on me. It was bad. After that, I felt so nauseous, but we managed to get an Uber back to my place.

The next morning was even worse. I woke up with no memory of how the night ended, just the memory of throwing up at Denny’s. And then the cycle continued—throwing up from 9 AM until just before I had to leave for a tea party my sister’s best friend was hosting. Yes, a wholesome, fairy-tale-esque tea party was planned for that day. And there I was, suffering from what I suspect was borderline alcohol poisoning. I could barely move, throwing up repeatedly, unable to make it back to bed without another trip to the bathroom.

At some point, my boyfriend brought me a cookie, which was sweet, but I was in no state to appreciate it. My older sister was furious with me (rightfully so) because we had this tea party planned, and I had gotten absolutely trashed the night before. But miraculously, after my final round of throwing up, I felt like a new person. I pulled myself together, freshened up, threw on a dress, and somehow managed to make it to the tea party. And let me tell you, it was the most wholesome, peaceful, and adorable event—complete with delicate pastries and tea, all while I was recovering from the absolute mess of the night before. Talk about the duality of womanhood.

That night was my wake-up call. Ever since then, I’ve been terrified of drinking too much. When we went on a camping trip after that, I didn’t drink at all. I took on the role of the cook and cleaner for the trip, keeping everything in order while everyone else partied. I became the “mom” of the group, making sure things didn’t get too out of control.

Right now, my life is just too busy for constant nights out. I have school, responsibilities, things to take care of. And honestly, going out all the time just isn’t a priority for me anymore. Some of my friends still give me a hard time—“Kat, you never go out anymore!”—but the truth is, I can’t afford to. First of all, it’s freezing outside, and I’m not about to freeze in a cute little outfit just to go out drinking. Second, I’ve realized that I’d rather wait for warm weather to really enjoy going out again. My mood depends so much on the weather—I am a summer girl through and through. Once the sun is shining and it’s warm again, I might be more open to nights out. But for now, I’m happy staying in.

Have you ever had an experience like this? Maybe not exactly the same, but a moment that made you stop and realize you needed a change? Sometimes, those moments are necessary. They force you to slow down, reassess, and figure out what really matters. And for me, that night at Denny’s was exactly that—a hard lesson learned, but one I’m ultimately grateful for.