I think cats are better than dogs. There, I said it!

In the never-ending debate of cats versus dogs, we often find ourselves hissing and growling at each other’s opinions. We should be able to discuss our opinions in a safe space… but today’s not that day. Welcome back to another “Don’t @ me”, and today I’m telling you right here and now… that cats are the superior companions. I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it.

Once upon a time in a land filled with purrs and barks, cats and dogs set paw on the path of domestication, unknowingly igniting an age-old rivalry that still rages on today.

Cats strutted into human lives with an air of mystery and elegance some 4,000 years ago in ancient Egypt. These sleek creatures were worshiped like gods – literally! That’s right, cats were considered divine, and being in their good graces was a must. Meanwhile, dogs, the trusty sidekicks, tagged along with humans for a whopping 20,000 years, fetching sticks and performing tricks for treats. The question is, are dogs just glorified vacuum cleaners or loyal partners? The jury’s still out.

Ancient Egyptians saw something special in cats. Perhaps it was their supernatural ability to land on their feet or their unwavering dedication to keeping homes mouse-free. Either way, cats had it all – fame, fortune, and furever homes. Dogs, on the other hand, were left to chase their own tails in envy.

Let’s remember the wise words of the ancient Egyptians and pay homage to our feline friends who, in the grand scheme of things, have always been a step (or leap) ahead of their canine counterparts. No hard feelings, doggos! You’re up against gods after all.

( Arina Krasnikova / Pexels )

Welp, it’s time to let the cat out of the bag and explore the factors that make cats a strong contender for the “Best Pet Ever” award. (Disclaimer: No dogs were harmed in the making of this argument.)

First, let’s talk about independence. Cats represent the cool, confident nature of the animal kingdom. They don’t need constant attention, validation, or walks in the park to be content. Instead, they’re perfectly happy lounging on their favorite windowsill, plotting world domination while their humans are away. Dogs? They’re more like needy toddlers, always craving cuddles and playtime. Sure, it’s adorable, but who wouldn’t appreciate a little more “meow-time”?

Next, we have the purrfect combination of agility and grace. Cats are basically furry ninjas, stealthily leaping from one countertop to the other without knocking over a single thing. Meanwhile, dogs are like lovable, clumsy oafs, often leaving a trail of mess in their wake. In the battle of stealth and coordination, it’s another win for the cats!

But wait, there’s more! If you’ve ever played with a cat, you’ll know they have a natural-born talent for turning anything into toys. Give a cat a cardboard box or a crumpled-up piece of paper, and they’ll be entertained for hours. Dogs, on the other hand, require an arsenal of squeaky toys, chew bones, and balls – not to mention the relentless human effort to toss, tug, and squeak. I’m a low-maintenance guy, and I love when my pets are just as low-maintenance as me.

Last but not least, let’s address the “nine lives” phenomenon. Cats are incredibly resilient creatures, often landing on their feet even after great falls. Can you imagine a dog pulling off such a feat? Not without a superhero cape and a whole lot of video editing!

Felines are independent, agile, low-maintenance, and practically immortal – what more could you ask for in a pet?

( Felix Mittermeier / Pexels )

Things are about to get a little messy. It’s time to tackle the less glamorous side of owning a pet – cleanliness. Spoiler alert: Cats come out on top, paws down.

Cats are like tiny, self-cleaning machines. They spend most of their day grooming themselves from head to tail. The result is a pristine, well-kept coat that could put any fashion model to shame. Dogs, on the other hand, require a bit more… shall we say, assistance. Between baths, grooming appointments, and the constant battle against shedding fur, dogs are more like high-maintenance divas than self-sufficient pets. As someone who’s allergic to fur, and has a bit of asthma, I know how it feels after breathing with a lot of shedding fur around. It’s not a great experience for my health, my clothes, and my furniture.

Let’s not forget the infamous “wet dog smell.” You know the one – it’s indescribable, to say the least, and you know it when it suddenly hits your nose like a freight truck. While cats maintain a subtle, barely-there scent (unless you count the occasional whiff of catnip), dogs can unleash a potent scent that has the power to clear a room. Thank God for air fresheners!

And, of course, we can’t ignore the drool factor. Cats, with their lapping and sipping, are graceful when it comes to hydration. Dogs, however, have a knack for turning a simple drink of water into a full-blown splash zone. With slobber flying left and right, it’s no wonder dog owners have to keep a mop handy at all times.

In the end, when it comes to cleanliness, cats rule and dogs drool – quite literally.

( Ánh Đặng / Pexels )

Now, let’s turn down the volume and tiptoe into the world of purrfectly quiet companions. If you’ve ever craved some peace in your life, look no further than our stealthy feline friendos.

Cats are like furry little librarians, maintaining a hushed atmosphere with their gentle purring and near-silent footsteps. They respect the sanctity of a quiet home, never causing a raucous or disturbing peace. With a cat by your side, you can enjoy a calm environment perfect for relaxation, reading, or plotting world domination – your choice!

Dogs, however, are more like a marching band in a marching band contest – loud, boisterous, and impossible to ignore. From the barking at squirrels to the sounds of running and playing, dogs aren’t exactly known for their indoor voices. While their enthusiasm can be adorable, it’s not always ideal for those craving some peace and quiet.

Think about it this way: If pets were musical instruments, cats would be elegant pianos, with their soothing melodies, while dogs would be beginner drummers, pounding away with reckless abandon.

( Valeria Boltneva / Pexels )

Ever tried squeezing Marmaduke into a studio apartment? It’s like trying to fit an elephant into a hunchback car – not exactly a clown car here. But fear not, my fellow pet lovers, because cats are here to save the day and prove that size really doesn’t matter!

Cats are the ultimate space-savers, able to adapt to any living situation, big or small. These fluffy contortionists can curl up in the tiniest of nooks and crannies, turning even the smallest apartment into a feline paradise. It’s like having a living, breathing, purring piece of modern art perched on your windowsill.

Dogs, bless their hearts, aren’t always as adaptable. Some may require large yards to roam or struggle to coexist with limited square footage. In the battle of space efficiency, cats emerge as undeniable champions.

Here are just some of the many reasons why cats just might be the superior pet. From their divine origins to their low-maintenance lifestyles, cats have proven themselves to be the purrfect companions for those seeking a bit of feline in their lives.

At the end of the day, even though it’s a dog-eat-dog world, the cats are the gods of this world.