Summer 2024 was probably one of the best summers I have ever experienced in my life. I got into my first relationship, and I’ve never been happier—genuinely. Now, we haven’t been together very long, but he is an incredible person, and I just wanted to share my story, how I’ve been feeling, and how it all came together.
Backstory:
A bit of backstory: I never dated anybody in high school. I would have situationships with people, but nothing progressed to the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. It never really got to that point. I just deemed myself as a person who thought, “Oh, commitment? Scary. Why do we need to do that?” I didn’t want to be tied down. I figured I’d stay single forever. My plan was to focus on my career after high school, dive straight into school, and stay on track kind of having incredible tunnel vision. I didn’t want any distractions, especially not boys. I was one of the number one boy-haters. If you’re a girl, you get it. And I did accomplish a whole lot before we got together I got my licence, traveled, became a lifeguard, and even started at BCIT I was already creating my own little story enjoying my solitude.
I had a clear path for myself, but I also had avoidant attachment issues. Genuinely, I would flinch every time someone got close. I would run away every time someone tried to get close. I had a lot of issues with being vulnerable with people romantically. I let down a couple of people because I think I led them on, letting them believe I liked them when I really didn’t. It became a continuous pattern I knew I had to stop and fix.
The Saturday Shift:
Spring of 2024 came around, and I started working every Saturday morning at this pool. This boy was also working Saturday mornings, but I didn’t notice him until my second shift. My first shift? Pretty sure I was hungover. When I came into work, one of my best friends said, “Hey, have you noticed this boy?” I hadn’t, so I took a look at him, and he was so cute—head-to-toe my type. I was hooked. From that moment, I was like, “Oh my God, this guy is so cute! I don’t know what to do with myself.”
Tying this back to my avoidant attachment issues: I’ve had a lot of crushes—too many. I’d have a new work crush every week. It was bad. But this time was different. Even my coworkers noticed. They were like, “Oh, you really like this one” And I sure did. However, there was an issue. We genuinely thought he had a girlfriend, so there was a bit of uncertainty and worry. Too a point where we asked everybody but him and the funniest part about this story is that my best friend went to the same high school as he did so imagine the reaction I got out of her when I told her about my work crush.
Now, the lesson sets we worked were really, really long—up to two months—because we only worked one day a week, plus spaced out by holidays. I saw this guy every Saturday, but I was way too nervous to talk to him. Side note it was genuinely the only day of the week that got me hyped up for work, and I work a lot. And I’m a confident person! I can talk to almost anyone and get along with everyone. But I couldn’t muster the courage to talk to him. Every time we were in the same room, I was silent. He was very shy, too. He was always on his phone, head down, only talking to his best friend at work. That best friend was his childhood buddy, so they clung to each other. It was hard to break into their little bubble.
I went to BCIT with his best friend, so I thought, “Let me talk to him first. Maybe he’ll mention me.” That was my first interaction strategy. Finally, my friends encouraged me to talk to him, saying, “Just do it! It’s not that hard!” So I did. I went up to him while I was guarding, and he was in the hot tub. He looked dazed, like he was about to pass out. I asked him if he was okay, and that was our first interaction. Three words. When I got back to the guard room, I was shaking. But my friends were proud because three words were better than none.
A few months later, I’d had a couple of conversations with him at work. I’d overhyped him a bit, so I had to bring him down to earth in my mind. Here’s some advice: Don’t put people on pedestals. No matter how amazing someone seems, remember you’re just as incredible. It doesn’t help to idolize them because you might be let down if they’re not who you imagined. Now, I love my boyfriend—he’s amazing—but treating him as my equal it something very important to me.
The nBA Finals and More:
A couple of months later, I knew he was a basketball fan. I’m more of a hockey girl, but I liked basketball enough to a point where I was actually paying attention to the Finals. I used the NBA Finals as an excuse to DM him. Despite barely talking to him at work, I went for it. We started texting, and long story short, he asked me out. We went on a couple of dates, worked together in the summer, and on July 13th, 2024, I became his girlfriend. Ever since then, it’s been amazing. We’ve had our rough times, as all relationships do, but he’s taught me so much about myself.
My friends have noticed a change in me. I’m lighter, more grounded. He’s one of the most secure people I’ve ever met, and he makes me feel incredibly secure, too. We haven’t been together long, but I can’t wait to see what our story holds. He makes me feel so loved and uplifts me in ways I can’t describe.
We have our pet peeves about each other, as every couple does. Without those troubles, relationships would be boring. I’ve learned so much, like how to balance friendships with a relationship. As someone who had intimacy and commitment issues, it’s been a learning experience. I’m independent and stubborn, but I’m grateful for someone who keeps me calm and grounded, checks in on me, and even checks me when I’m wrong. I do the same for him.
I believe in being whole before entering a relationship. Not two halves making a whole, but two wholes creating something even greater. That’s what 2024 has taught me. If you’ve experienced something similar, I hope you can relate. Trust me, all my friends were shocked when I became a girlfriend. It was a mic drop moment for sure.