You better brace yourselves for the sweetest day on the calendar. It’s quite a doozy and it’s simply amazing. Let’s hear it for…

National Vanilla Cupcake Day. 

…What the hell?

Not chocolate cupcake day, or cupcake day in general, just good ol’ vanilla. Now, I’m all for celebrating the simple joys in life, but isn’t every day pretty much a good day for a cupcake? I mean, do we really need a designated day for it?

And that’s the thing about these holidays: THEY’RE ALL KINDA DUMB. 

National Vanilla Cupcake Day, National Talk Like a Pirate Day, National Toothpick Day, if there’s an object, there’s probably a day for it. And it’s kinda boring.

But you know what? Maybe I’m just a cynical senile young guy. In a world where every day seems to be packed with important stuff, having a day dedicated to vanilla cupcakes gives us an excuse to indulge in the simple pleasures. Even if it’s useless, I think things will be a-okay.

So, as you reach for that vanilla cupcake on its designated day, take a moment to appreciate the randomness of it all. Embrace the useless holidays, even if it’s really dumb.. 

…Wait, it’s already past National Vanilla Cupcake day? 

That’s dumb…