Heavenly Father Above, why have thou given me the suffering to write articles on sports?? (I mean, I could also write about culture and media, but I felt like I needed to write at least a couple based on sports.)

I’m not a sports guy at all. I used to play for the middle school volleyball team, but I hated the competition and pressure they gave me when I was barely 5 feet tall. I just joined because my buddies joined, and I like to whack balls. I also used to cheer for the Canucks during the 2011 Playoffs, but they lost and never won again since, so…

But watching sports, that’s a different breed. Why do people enjoy watching sports? Playing sports, I totally get it, it’s healthy for you. Watching it and screaming your lungs out when the referee gives your favourite team a yellow card while letting out that alcohol breath, that I don’t really get.

Let me state my reasons before you start saying I don’t understand the feeling (but you are right, I don’t, and I won’t.)

One, there are millions of other things to watch. Or do. Haven’t heard Mr. White call Jesse to “cook” every two episodes? Witness the winter finally come to Winterfell (after saying “Winter is coming” every ten minutes or so for the past five seasons)? Don’t feel like watching those? Then pick up a healthy hobby, like cooking or skateboarding. Stop watching the Canucks game. They won’t ever win the Stanley Cup. Why endure and hope for something that will never happen?

Secondly, some sports are way too boring to watch. I cannot recall any of my friends who actually watch golf. Except for my ex-roommate, but that’s because I took his PS5 to play Elden Ring, and he had nothing else to do. Watching golf is like watching the paint dry. Nothing interesting happens in football or basketball except for some highlights. But it’s the same feeling as watching a dull movie with a 23% on Rotten Tomatoes for a plot twist you expected.

Thirdly, sports fans tend to be toxic. But that applies to most fandoms, too. But teams can lose, and people get too upset. They start blaming the moves the player did, then the coach, then the referee, and eventually, the weather. In the case of TV shows, you can partially blame the creative choices in shows hated by mass audiences because that is 100% the producer’s intentions and their control, but how can anyone control reality? People lose, and sometimes they win, it’s life. Plus, you don’t even PLAY for the team.

But on the other hand, being a sports fan have its pro. It creates a community, supports thousands of sports-related jobs, and encourages people to play the sport they are watching unless they have no talent. But that won’t convert me. I need to finish watching Jimmy McGill become Saul Goodman.