Author Archives: Volante Matheson

“True Crime watchers love violence.”

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You probably know one person in your life that likes True Crime. Heck, you might be like me and like it yourself. So then you’ve probably seen the memes, heard the jokes, “People who like True Crime are psychos. They love violence.” But if you’re like me, you know that’s not the case. It’s all about preparation for the worst case scenario.

Now not all True Crime lovers have experienced their own trauma. Some people just have a fascination with the criminal mind – what in God’s name happens to people to make them want to take another’s life? I’m sure you’re already aware that psychology is a relatively new concept. ‘New’ meaning that in the 70s people avidly avoided therapy because “nothing is wrong with them.” Not long before that it was lobotomies and mental institutions for hysteria. Thankfully we now live in an age where therapy is becoming a part of every day life. Nothing has to be “wrong” with you to seek the help of a professional. But since we are still in the baby years of psychology… that is often still what draws people to therapy.

In my first draft of this article I wrote about the Netflix show Mindhunter. I’ve since gone back to rewatch it, and it epitomizes the concept I’m trying to convey. The show refers to a theory by French sociologist Émile Durkheim – that if something is wrong in our society, then criminality is a response to it. If you haven’t watched the show, they explore the new [for the time] concept of serial killers. Never before in law enforcement records has someone performed sequence killings. In order to understand this new phenomenon, detectives pair with a psychologist and interview convicted serial killers about their history – the history behind what made them who they are.

I think this is why people are drawn to True Crime. We have a moral fascination of what drives someone to commit the unthinkable. Whether you’ve been privy to violence firsthand or not. But the True Crime viewer (save some questionable exceptions) does not lust after violence. They are training and preparing their brain for what it would be like to come into contact with someone who thinks this way. Or maybe they are educating themselves so that they do not raise humans with ignorance as to how their actions as caregivers can affect someone.

“Try understanding [him] instead of trying to dominate [him]. Look for common ground. Find commonality.” – Mindhunter

This quote is not for the a victim experiencing a narcissistic oppressor. But it rings true to those of us who do have the emotional strength to explore these questions. Incarceration is our answer for when things have gone terribly wrong, but is there a way to nip it in the bud from the beginning?

Back to the budding of psychology… our scope of the narcissistic parts of humans is also expanding. We all hold narcissism inside of us, but it is on a spectrum. What we have come to know as narcissism, the lack of empathy, and potentially a psychopath, has completely taken off since the day of lobotomies. That does not mean it is the duty of everyone to empathize with their perpetrator.

Another thing I have learnt in all my watchings of True Crime is just how much power law enforcement has to intervene. During these documentaries we are privy to law enforcement evolution. Before the time of computers, there was minimal sharing of criminal transcripts across state lines. This would have to come at the intuition of police officers to request the information, and not always shared upon request. Now in our day and age, criminal databases are more accessible. Parallels can be drawn from characteristics of one case to another – maybe even the perpetrator committing both. Even still, in our time, police cannot intervene without probable cause. In the case of domestic disputes or family assaults these lines become even more difficult. I do hope with the help of psychology, this evolves with time.

It is because of this that I find comfort educating myself with True Crime. As a recipient of violence from a loved-one I have continuously sought answers for the experience. What about the person made them want to do this? Why did the police leave me feeling unhelped and confused? When one does not have the guts to seek direct professional help to unpack these answers, True Crime can be a way to educate ourselves. To protect ourselves. To understand the minds that baffle what is morally and socially right.

So the next time someone near you has a love for True Crime, unpack the reasons they might be choosing to learn about this. It is not about the love of violence, it is about mental preparation, shared experiences, and safety.

Written by: Volante Matheson

Contact: vmatheson1@my.bcit.ca

Changing the conversation about Vancouver’s DTES.

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I am sure you’ve seen your newsfeed bombarded with Vancouver’s current crisis of the downtown east-side. It is becoming part of our everyday norm to face a fellow citizen who is abusing drugs, and could or could not be prone to violence.

“Tent City” of the DTES is almost synonymous with Vancouver. It existed when I was younger, but has grown exponentially in the past 10 years. Tourists travelling through Vancouver goggle at the spectacle as if these humans were zoo animals. Media outlets, whether backed by corporate media or personal Instagram blogs are constantly reporting on the violence, second-hand fentanyl, and theft. All of these are substantiated claims… But it seems that this type of conversation is far greater than the conversation we should be having: Otherizing is halting any healing of what’s happening.

Every person abusing drugs is also dealing with mental health issues, it is a means to control the brain. 1 in 4 people experiencing homelessness have been in the foster care system.  At the age of adulthood, they’ve been left to their own. This includes any trauma they might have unfortunately collected in the process.

Otherizing refers to treating a person, or group of people different from you as “alien” and “not like us.” This has be seen in racist agendas, it can be seen when dealing with the police (or police dealing with us), and it can be seen in the scope of what is happening in our downtown east-side. This burden of drugs, illicit behaviour, and violence can be so far from someone’s norm that the only way their brain can process it is to otherize.

I got into a conversation with a friend recently about this topic. They regaled me with a story about their European friends coming to Vancouver for a visit, and wishing to drive through the DTES to see what all this was about. I unfortunately could relate with visitors I’ve had. My friend and I agreed that part of our duties as Vancouver citizens was to educate our friends about the moral repercussion of gawking at this part of the population. This isn’t a circus performance, these are people who have been hit with trial after trial after trial and have found solace in drug and alcohol use. Newcomers will lay claim that our government perpetuates this carnage by offering safe-injection sites. This led me to a different thought.

Perhaps we in Vancouver are seeing a growing number of mentally-ill, drug-abusing, without a home, members of our society because we offer a safe space for them to reside. Vancouver is in the middle of a very important conversation. A conversation that many cities across North America find themselves “burdened” with. While it may not be quaint for the image of Vancouver, it seems as though there is safety in residing here. Maybe this is because we are meant to be the hub that figures out what is the best and most empathetic way to help. I feel this starts with seeing this part of the population as they are, humans just like you and me.

In my previous article “True Crime watchers love violence” I spoke about the Netflix television series Mindhunter. While this show holds immense space for the shocking drama, it also carries harsh notes of truth. In order to help, we must first understand what creates a “deviant” mind. Very rarely is someone born innately bad. This is where our current media gets it wrong.

Vancouver news conveys a strong notion of what we must do to “clean up our streets”. There are some voices that speak out about trauma as the root cause, but it is not at the forefront of conversation in our media. The answer is not to dominate the streets and forcibly eliminate the issue, sweep it under the rug. The answer to heal comes from understanding its beginning. This should come with a more direct conversation with those personally experiencing the drug epidemic in Vancouver.

Seeking healing help from someone who has never had to heal the same way – sticks out like a sore thumb. I think the best way to understand what is needed is to listen to those who have experienced it themselves. Where is this conversation in our corporate media?

Written by: Volante Matheson

Contact: vmatheson1@my.bcit.ca

Quick win tips from a fellow ADHDer.

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Neurodivergency is IN. Gone is the stigma of the past, and up now is the revelation of what the whole spectrum of neurodivergence means. You know what a spectrum is – picture it like the colour wheel, or the speedometer on your car. You can lay on the 0 end of the spectrum or the high 100, or more, wherever the spectrum ends.

I am specifically on the spectrum of ADHD, diagnosed and everything. Oh boy, the process to get diagnosed is a long one… and anyone with ADHD knows that filling out forms, going for processing meetings, waiting for the final official diagnosis pulls on every string that is exactly what makes being ADHD difficult.

But here, in this article, I am going to share some quirks and tips about how you might assist your ADHD in a neurotypical world.

Let’s start backwards, with sleep. It has been written that ADHDers thrive in the nighttime, are night owls, and struggle with sleep. Why? The information that made the most sense to me was that at the end of the day, that is when life’s demands quiet down and there is little to no stimulation to distract you from what you want to do. Whether its tv show binging, video games, late night schoolwork or career work, the list goes on – no one is there to remind you of your duties and “taking advantage of daylight hours.” The ADHD mind is finally free to do whatever the heck it wants. Sadly this comes at a huge disadvantage because then… you’re physically drained for the next day and it becomes a paradox cycle of when do you actually get the time to do what you want in this work-driven world.

For me specifically, even if my brain and body are in sync and say “Yes, we got this. Go to bed… close your eyes… you’re going to get a good night sleep tonight.” Well… sadly… my brain cannot turn the eff off and actually go to sleep. There’s this weird middle ground I have when I fall asleep. I turn my thoughts into images behind my eyes, and then, if I can relax my brain enough, I space-warp into those images as real-time dreams. The tricky thing, you can never be aware that you are actually falling asleep. One minuscule thought of “Oh yes I am finally falling asleep” and BOOM, you’re awake and the process starts again.

This tip may work for you, or it may not. Every brain is different on the spectrum and what is the gold nugget for one won’t fit another. But I think this is what’s part about being neurodivergent, is that you need to understand how YOUR brain is and find the things that work specifically for your brain. If you haven’t given this a try, maybe it’s your fix.

Audiobooks.

Audiobooks have been a big help for me to transition from awake brain to sleep brain. Sadly I have never been able to fall asleep DURING a story like my partner can, because I just pick such darn good stories. However it does help me trick my brain into bedtime mode. Sometimes I won’t want to go to sleep because the movie I am watching is just so enthralling and my brain doesn’t feel tired yet. Putting on an audiobook that has a shut-off timer gets me laying down, eyes closed, in my dark room, and breathing slowing to a more relaxed state. A great narrator gives me the ability to picture the story behind my closed eyes and relax my brain from the thoughts of the day. A good 45 minutes on the timer and once it slowly fades to off, I am generally ready for a good night sleep. If you need any suggestions of stories, anything by Isaac Asimov will quench your thirst for something fantastical and informative that is far away from anything you might’ve dealt with that day.

Another ADHD tip you might try is called the “everything bins.” Self-care can really take a hit as an ADHDer when your daily life commitments, whether it be school, work, or something else – and for me the first thing I can witness is the cleanliness of my space. Having a messy space can really affect your mood, but also keeping a constantly clean space can really drone on. There are of course cleaning-loving exceptions out there. But if you aren’t one of these naturally clean people, like me, it can take a lot of weight off and some solace with “everything bins.” This is a short-term fix and can bring challenges in itself. But for those quick wins, don’t let shame stop you from taking the easy way out and throwing it alllllllllll into the everything bin. When there comes a time you are capable of cleaning, motivated to clean, or just want to do a little instead of a lot – then you can take an hour or two to slowly sort through this bin. I like to passively unload the bins while I listen to music, or a podcast, or even a tv show. I sort everything into little piles based of what room they go to. Then follow the “every time I stand up rule” I take one thing and put it back. This might not be the tip for everyone, because sometimes everything bins can just continue to stack and stack and suddenly you’re left with 10 bins to sort through. But this tip helps if you need a quick feeling of clean to do the task you’re meant to. Then if you can keep up with the passive sorting, it can make cleaning your whole space feel less overwhelming. We’ve all had it where it’s time to clean and you just look at the everything that needs to get done. Perhaps you’re cleaning your kitchen and can’t help but notice that cabinet you’ve been meaning to reorganize. We ADHDers are very good at continuously adding to the list. At least with the everything bin there is a clear and distinct end. Stop yourself after one bin and it won’t feel like you have to go on and on.

So never fear fellow ADHDer. Navigating the neurotypical world can be difficult, but there are always new strategies around every corner. Remember, your brain will work in waves. What works one day might not work months from now. Keep trying new things, keep giving yourself patience. Our brains require more stimulation and seek more serotonin, so don’t dwell when your new tactic starts to wane. You’ve got comrades like me helping you find new tools every step of the way!

 

Written by: Volante Matheson

Contact: vmatheson1@my.bcit.ca

Why the puzzle games on my phone will help me win a reality show I’ll never go on.

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I wonder if there is a person out there who has zero games on their phone. Maybe people who grew up without cellphones in the age demographic 50 and higher. Maybe people who only had cellphones and smartphones come into existence after they left their teenage years. I was someone who during my high school years cellphones became a thing. At this time we had Tetris and Snake on a green and black screen. Then came the smartphones.

One of the things my teenage and almost teenage nephews like to do to socialize with me is to put my cellphone as close to my face as possible. Freaks me out, but then PSYCH I don’t have face unlock on my phone. The next step is to see which games I have and if any are to their liking to play, and then undeniably beat me at. This is where I can see our age gap in some non-existent formula of what kind of games we both like. They like games, that I can only describe as “Dance Dance Revolution” but you’re running down some skytrain rails, dodging the skytrain, and picking up coins. Often they are not as excited by MY favourite games…. Which are puzzles.

For some reason, back in the day, I used to find comfort and my ADHD stim with “Diner Dash” or “Hot Dog Bush”. If you are not of my age demographic and currently thinking WTF are those? They are essentially time-management games of cooking and delivering food to your customers, or in “Hot Dog Bush” you are building different fast-food meals and getting them to your customers before they get grumpy at leave. You can buy upgrades for your oven, your food item prices, etc. The strategy is that the game gets faster and faster and if you can’t keep up, you’re done for. Past Me used to love this as a quick way to clear my mind before sleep. But now that I have grown, and my tastes in games is ever-changing, and the games AVAILABLE are ever-changing…. I have a new favourite kind. A kind that I trick my brain into believing “we are building new synapses, and someday, sometime, all this game playing will come back to my advantage.”

ENTER IN my love of reality shows. I’ve watched Survivor, I’ve watched MTV’s The Challenge, and at this current time and day I am exploring Love Island Games for the first time. Hopefully out of one of those three you at LEAST know what Survivor is. Survivor premiered on May 31, 2000. As of May, 2025, 48 seasons have been completed and it has been renewed for its 49th and 50th seasons. In this show, “survivors” are taken to a tropical destination and with a basin to make clean drinking water… and MAYBE a bag of rice.. they are left to survive for 26 days. During which, as they slowly deplete from lack of nutrients, they are set to play these strategy games against other survivors. When they win … maybe they get building materials for their sleep structure… maybe fishing equipment… or maybe a luxury meal of crappy pizza and sugar-filled items to help them on their next games. Point being, the games constructed on Survivor are iconic for their mix of muscle, team-work, and puzzle-ready brains. Producers and game-builders of Survivor are held in high respect for the type of games created. For this, I can’t help feel that smartphone game app creators are influenced. I mean where else would one need to know how to empty and fill coloured jars of water like in Water Sort Puzzle. Or how to calmingly untangle a mess of rope, in a specific pattern, like in Twisted Tangle. How to load people onto a bus by matching the colour of the bus with the colour of the avatar and not creating line-up mayhem like Bus Jam. Or how to unjam poorly parked cars in Traffic Escape. These puzzles must have a use in some future form of my life!

Right now I can’t get enough of Hexa Sort. Essentially unstacking and stacking hexagons of the same colour to clear the board. This game somehow soothes my mind, offers level up stimulation that doesn’t have me lose interest, and makes me feel like a genius. So although I will likely never ever EVER EVER sign up for Survivor, The Challenge, or Love Island Games …. I can rest assured that I am secretly a genius who’s only ever appreciator is myself.

No this article was not a paid advertisement, but if you need a way to relax at the end of the day or a way to fidget during a favourite tv show… be like me and slowly become a genius with the puzzle games on our phones.

 

Written by: Volante Matheson

Contact: vmatheson1@my.bcit.ca

Why men’s bathrooms are weird.

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Ok, ok. Hear me out. I am female identifying, and for a long time I have been joking about how men and boy’s bathrooms are just plain weird. Urinals… why don’t they have doors?!

As bathrooms are slowly becoming gender neutral, a lot of men’s bathrooms are opening up to women and non-binary folks. HOPEFULLY they’ve been open to non-binary and trans for longer than this, but that is not the conversation today. Because I have been privy to male bathrooms, I can see that they have not at all changed since the time I was in elementary school and thought it would be hilarious to run into the boy’s bathrooms to see what they were like. Again, disclaimer, there may be some bathrooms that have updated their urinals to have doors. But for the most part, no doors.

This is weird. I couldn’t imagine using the toilet in free visual scope of another human. Is there something about women sitting down that need doors? Is it the fact that women are the “gentler sex” and require doors and privacy?

You might be a male-identifying reading this like, “Whats the big deal? This is part of our man culture.” So it might be. Men get the (what is presumably) joy of free-standing and urinating wherever they so please. Camping out in the forest? Easy peasy for men. In fact, I’ve seen many over my lifetime course of road trips just facing away from the highway doing their thing. At a house party and the line is too long? No problem, them boys go off together in the bushes and jovially have a conversation whilst doing their business. It’s somehow discreet, its a joint affair, and its perfectly acceptable (within reason) for men to go about taking a wee anywhere they so please.

Now is THIS why y’all don’t have bathroom doors? Something about your hands covering that bit of genitalia that make it suddenly not count as exposing yourself?

Here’s some educational reasoning behind my qualm. I have been reading this book called ‘Consent Laid Bare: Sex, Entitlement, and the Distortion of Desire” by Chanel Contos. It revolves around Australia creating a petition to have their sex education nationally add consent education into their curriculum. We all know the Me Too movement changed the game in how we talk about sex and consent. This book largely talks about female history, recent and in perpetuity, with how lack of consent education has affected them. For example the Hollywood-ized “Just kiss the girl” – a form of not asking for consent to kiss and just laying one on them. This style of kiss used to be universally seen as sexy and confident, and the idea of someone asking for permission to kiss was cringe and took the excitement away. THIS IS NOW ARCHAIC. Asking for consent is sexy.

So while this book talks about the female experience, it also talks about the male experience. How young boys are groomed to have this “macho exterior” in order to attract a mate to avoid being what is now deemed an INCEL. This book exposed a truth to me that I have never been able to get out of my head since. From as young an age as possible, the small penis jokes has loomed over boyhood. If you don’t know, now you know, male genitalia grows with age. So OF COURSE young boys have what they have. However this book also lays claim that the origins of these terrible jokes, this ability for boys to see other boys and make trauma-forming claims that affect a budding manhood…. Are the locker rooms. From these jokes, comes inaccurate ideals, and an unsafe “power” men hold in their sizes. What other place do men come in constant contact with the ability to see other sizes? You guessed it. The bathroom.

Now you like might be like my classmate, who when I recently brought up this topic to them they say, “Well Volante, there is etiquette in the bathroom… you don’t stand right next to someone who is already there.” Yes I get this… but WHY is it still a thing to not have doors?? Are men not worth the extra money it takes to put doors in? Tell me, why hasn’t this evolved out of our norm?

 

Written by: Volante Matheson

Contact: vmatheson1@my.bcit.ca