Author Archives: Kamryn Hamagami-Postill

Burning Out

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For my fellow students out there I feel like we’ve reached the point in the year where the motivation is quickly depleting. I don’t know about you but I just can’t find the strength to get myself on my computer and get my assignments going. I feel burnt out. But the good news is you’re so so so close to the finish line, but the bad news is, being close to the finish line means there’s still final exams and projects to get through. It’s easy to get caught up in all the chaos and stress in the final stretch, I feel like sometimes I get way too overwhelmed to the point where my brain just shuts off and I’m stuck looking at a blank screen for what feels like hours. It may feel like you have no time to take that time for yourself but let’s be honest, if you’re just staring at your screen getting no work done, it would just be smarter to take the time off and have a break. So if you’re in the same boat as me and feel like you need to take some time to yourself to get your head back in the game, here are some of things I like to do to get back on track in this final stretch. 

Studying

Socialize 

I know you feel like there is absolutely zero time to have fun and socialize with your friends but trust me even just a short hangout with the people who make you laugh can have a huge impact on the way you feel. It doesn’t even have to be anything crazy, a quick movie night or going out for a lunch break is the perfect way to break up the day, chat with some friends who may be going through the same burn out struggles, and then come back to your computer refreshed ready to grind out those assignments. For me, nothing beats seeing my friends and just being able to turn off “school mode” and have a good time. 

Clean Your Space

You know when you’re sitting at your desk, or wherever you do work, and you just can’t stop thinking about all the mess around you so then you just end up getting no work done and then overthink everything and then nothing gets done? Yea. That happened to me today.  I really believe in the whole idea that a clean space = a clean mind. How are you going to be able to stay focused and study well when you’re surrounded by a plate of last night’s leftovers and that coffee mug from Tuesday, you can’t. But I also get that cleaning your space can be a daunting task and just as hard as getting yourself to study sometimes so here’s my trick, I set a 10 minute alarm on my phone and see how much I’m able to get done. Only 10 minutes. And usually I’m surprised by how organized I can get my space to be in just 10 minutes, and you’re not doing a deep clean, just enough where you don’t feel so cluttered. Trust me, it works.      

Do Something Creative

Unless you’re in a super creative program like I am, it’s easy to turn yourself on autopilot when writing essays and solving equations and that creative spark that you have can slip away. So get back into your hobbies or create something cool. Maybe you get a group of friends together and paint, maybe you’re into knitting, or maybe it’s even just putting a new playlist together. Having fun is important and I feel like taking creative breaks are a lot more relaxing than taking phone breaks where you’re just scrolling mindlessly. Last Christmas break I got really into knitting, I find it super therapeutic. So whenever I find myself needing that break to tap into my creative side, I pick up the yarn, put on some good music and I get knitting. 

Have A Nap

Or go to bed early. But sometimes catching up on some much needed Z’s is all it takes. Studying takes a big toll on your brain and it can really be exhausting. And it’s not an active type of exhausted, it’s a drained type of exhausted, which in my opinion, is worse. So whether you need to take the time to get some extra hours of sleep or set aside 30 minutes in your day for a quick power nap, having that time for your brain to rest will give you the energy you need to power through to Summer break. 

Move Around

Get your endorphins flowing. Go for a walk, a run, hit the gym, or maybe some yoga, just do something. Even if it’s just a quick 10 minute break to move around that is better than nothing and I promise you will notice a difference. Whenever I find myself in a rut with school I take a step away from the books and take my dog for a walk and I always come back feeling refreshed and ready to take on the assignment. 

Eat

Food is fuel. Make sure you’re eating good and yummy foods for both your brain and your body so you can stay powered and ready to go. Being a student means your probably always on the go, running in between classes, to work, and then studying, it’s hard to find those times to get in some nutritious food, but even just packing an apple in your bag for when your on the go or some other quick snack will be a lifesaver when you find stomach grumbling in the library.       

Organic Vegetables

Create A Study Group

I’m at the point in the semester where most of my weekends are spent studying, doing homework, and summer job applications. It’s hard to spend my weekend days locked in the library but something that really helps me is creating a study group. Having some friends or classmates that you can count on to join you on a rainy day Sunday homework sesh is sooo helpful. They will keep you accountable, help you stay motivated, and they just really get the school stress. Having a good group of people to study with has been my life line this semester. We also know when we all need a good break so it’s like killing two birds with one stone, we socialize and get moving all in the same day. 

There’s no other way to put it other than school can be tough. It can push you past your limits, test your focus, and really just drain you, but just remember it will all be worth it in the end, set some goals for yourself and remember why you’re chasing them. Take breaks and listen to your body, and listen to yourself, when you feel that burn out coming, take a rest. And don’t forget that you got this! Only a month left for us college students, we’re in the final stretch and Summer is around the corner!                    

The Power Of Music

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Have you ever just had a really bad day and put on a little bit of sad music just to make you feel even sadder? No? Just me? Okay. I don’t know about you but my mood can do a real 180 depending on what music I’m listening to or even just amplify whatever mood I’m in.  

Sorceress

Picture this: you’re driving up the Sea-to-Sky, the sun is just about to set and is glistening on the pacific, it’s literally a perfect picture, and then your favourite song comes along. The song that is just perfectly curated for those sunset drives and seems to make your good mood just that much better. It’s magic in a song. Or maybe you’re curled up on your couch on a rainy day with a good book and that perfect acoustic rainy day song turns on just making the day that much more cozy. Music really does have the power to shift your mood or even your behaviour. It has a grip on you. That one song that comes on the radio on your morning commute to work can either change your day for better or maybe even in some cases, the worst. 

Time for a quick science/psychology lesson. It’s pretty obvious and I guarantee you know that music is able to make you feel things. Whether it’s the pulsing bass of your favourite rock song or a melody of delicate piano keys the sounds you hear trigger emotional response. Not to get all scienc-y on you but that’s because music taps into the brain’s limbic system (I was a psychology major at one point in time) and the limbic system is responsible for processing emotions. When you hear a song or a beat that you love, your brain releases dopamine which is the happy-feel good chemical – the same one that fires off when you eat your favourite food or scoring a good grade on your final exam. Dopamine can change your mood in a positive way. So the next time you’re sad and shuffle your “favourite songs” playlist and suddenly feel a bit better, you can thank your good friend dopamine for that. Dopamine is also addictive, we want to feel that happiness and satisfaction so that could be one of the reasons why your favourite songs are always on repeat! When you hear music that sounds good to you, your brain lights up like a Christmas tree. Different parts of the brain process various aspects of the music: pitch, tempo, and lyrics each activate distinct neural pathways. The auditory cortex deciphers the sounds, the motor cortex gets you tapping your feet, and the prefrontal cortex helps you interpret the emotional content. But it’s not just the brain that gets impacted, your body can have a physical response too. Fast paced or intense jams can increase your heart rate and blood pressure while chill melodies can lower anxiety and reduce stress hormones. 

But music isn’t always about happy feel-good moments. Ever find yourself getting choked up over a sad hit even if you weren’t feeling particularly emotional? That’s because music can act as a mirror, reflecting emotions you might have not realized you were carrying. But you can also feel those sad feelings from either your connection to the artist or the lyrics in the song. 

Not only does music affect your emotions, it influences what you do too. Have you ever noticed you feel like you lift a PR or run an extra kilometre when you hear the beat dropping on the song that gets you energized. I mean c’mon, I know you have that gym playlist. Studies show that upbeat music actually increases your motivation and endurance during physical activity, so next time you’re feeling unmotivated in the gym, put some hip-hop music on and get ready to feel sore the next day. Music can distract that muscle burn your feeling but it can also be like a shot of caffeine right to your system, something that wakes you up and gets you going. 

Submitted by Naomi Green

Music dictates the pace of our lives. Maybe this is just me but I hear an upbeat song in my car like I’m in Fast And Furious. Well not really, my Volkswagon Bug definitely doesn’t drive like a sports car but you get the point. Restaurants use it to create an atmosphere that customers enjoy based on the brand and vibe of the restaurant and retail stores curate playlists to create specific vibes to boost sales. 

 One of the coolest things in my opinion about music is its ability to transport us back in time. A genre that always acts as a time machine for me is country music. As soon as I turn on some Morgan Wallen, suddenly I’m transported back to a summer day on the lake, tired from roasting in the sun but cooling off with an ice cold beer. I can literally feel the exact feelings through listening to the music which I think is super cool. It gets me excited for those Summer days and always puts me into a better mood. But it’s not always super cool, because sometimes it can do the opposite, put you in a bad or sad mood. Since music can tap into memories, triggering nostalgia, it can bring up a past you may have wished to just forget. Say you’re walking through the grocery store and that one song that was a hit at the time of your breakup comes on, yea, not a good scene. Or maybe it was just a period of time in your life where nothing seemed to be working in your favour and you hear a tune that brings you back to the dark days, not an ideal situation. But unfortunately or fortunately your brain is wired to create strong associations between music and memories, especially those times where you’re experiencing a lot of firsts. Like I can vividly remember the song that came on the first time I got behind the wheel. It was “One Dance” by Drake. I am by no means a Drake fan but whenever I hear that song I’m brought back to a 16 year old eager me who just got my first lick of freedom and excitement. So music can either be a shortcut for re-living your glory days or a ticket back to a time in life you just want to leave in the past. 

Something that always shocks me is music’s impact on the brain through its connection to memory. For dementia patients, parts of the brain have a hard time recalling names or faces, but the areas that are associated with music don’t share those same struggles. Many researchers in the field have discovered that playing songs that are familiar to the patient can help with recall of important memories and the names and faces of their loved ones. Wow. 

Whether you’re trying to hype yourself up, relax, or just feel something, music has your back. It’s that universal language that literally can connect everyone and anyone no matter the circumstances, thank god for music right!?

 

Getting Yourself Out Of A Funk

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I know you’ve been there. When you’re in a bad funk and you just can’t seem to get out of it. And this weather is no help either, it’s hard to stay positive when it feels like there is just so much negative all around. I mean it gets dark wayyyy too early, it’s always rainy and cold, and it’s just an awkward time of the year. And if you’re a student then you’re in the final stretch too, probably feeling a bit burnt out and just want all the homework and studying to be over. You’re in a funk. It sucks. But it is possible to get yourself out of that funk and with spring coming and the weather getting better it can only go up from here, right? (I hope). But as a 21 year old college student who constantly finds myself in funks and going from those highs to lows daily I’ve kinda worked my way around getting over and out of these funks and how to deal with yourself when you’re in them. 

Step 1: Recognize That Your In A Funk

There’s really no use with running away from these feelings, so just own it. When I feel myself in a funk I think it’s a good thing to recognize that you’re in one, sometimes it’s just worse to ignore what you’re feeling and if you own up to it at least you can move through it and forward. Once you’ve recognized and come to terms with the fact that maybe this isn’t going to be your most productive, happy, social day/week/month you can do what you need to do to get yourself feeling right. I also feel like it’s a mature choice to recognize it and maybe even share how you’re feeling with the people around you. For me personally, I’d rather have my best friend or family know that this just isn’t is my week, then in that case if your being distant and really just focusing on yourself then won’t worry and wonder, because sometimes the only solution to getting out these funks is being selfish and that is completely okay. 

Step 2: Relax and Destress 

I’m someone that always needs to be on the go and doing something to feel productive. But sometimes I work myself into overdrive and just put too much stress on myself and that leads to burn out. Then when I go to relax and destress I feel guilty about it because I just have this belief that I always need to be constantly doing something. As I’m getting older I’m realizing that sometimes you just need to slow down and catch your breath and remember that life isn’t a race. Getting caught up in the crazy whirlwind that life is can be super overwhelming but at the end of the day if you’re doing the best you can that’s all that matters and you have to remember that you are just human and your body literally requires rest to function right. So next time you catch yourself slipping in a funk, rest and destress guilt free. Pick up that book, turn on that show, you just turn off your lights and catch some probably much needed Z’s. you aren’t functioning right if you’re tired and having a little mental reset for your brain will do you more good then you can even imagine. 

Step 3: Clean Space = Clean Mind

Once you’ve relaxed and taken that time for yourself to chill out and calm down, cleaning your space is always my next step to getting out of a funk. Nothing feels worse than having a mess all around you. It probably just causes you more stress! It can seem like a lot of time and energy to get up, do that laundry and clean your room but I can promise you that once it’s done you feel a massive weight lifted off your shoulders. And even if cleaning your room is all you can do on that day, that is still a huge accomplishment that you can be proud of and you can rest feeling like you were productive that day! 

Step 4: Get Outside

Rain or shine, fresh air really is able to get yourself in a better mood. If you are feeling up to a trail walk, a walk around your block, or even just sitting down in your backyard, fresh air is something that can really change your mindset. I always find it funny how I can go from being in such a bad mood but once I put my headphones in and take my dog for a quick walk around the neighbourhood I come home feeling sooo much better, it truly makes a big difference. Grabbing a coffee and going on a walk with your friend, by yourself, or even listening to your favourite music or podcast can change your mindset and help get you back on track to feeling good. 

Step 5: Do Some Self Care

Putting time into yourself and doing things that make you feel good are the best thing you can do when you’re in a funk. And self care can look different for everyone. Sometimes for me I find self care to be a steaming hot shower followed up with a cup of tea in bed reading my book with a face mask, sometimes it looks like going on a run or heading to the gym, or sometimes it looks like getting out of my sweatsuit, putting on some jeans, a little makeup, and doing my hair so that I feel good. Whatever floats your boat, just do. It can be hard to get up and do something but if you find some sort of self care that doesn’t feel like a chore and literally just makes you feel good then you’re on the right track. 

Step 6: Socialize

I used to think that when I was in a funk people wouldn’t want to hang around something that’s “boring” but that’s when I realized I was hanging around the wrong group of people. When I’m in a funk, if I’m feeling up to it, I like to end the day with my best friend. Putting on a show, snacking on candy and popcorn, just chatting and laughing is a real mood booster for me. Sometimes getting distracted by friends is the best thing you can do for yourself. Like I said before it’s good to relax and destress but to a certain point, it’s good to get out of bed and if all you can do is move from your bed to the couch, that is still something. 

Being in a funk can feel like a long eternity but honestly if you just lean into the idea and find things that help you feel better it can help you both when you’re stuck in the middle of the funk and when finding ways to get through them. And don’t forget that every little bit counts, if all you have in you that day is a shower or just a 10 minute walk that is still an accomplishment and better than nothing. Don’t beat yourself up about the small things and always give yourself the rest and time that you deserve. Being a human can be tough and sometimes all you need is just a little R&R to get you feeling back on track. 

 

Spring Sports You Should Get Into!

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Ahhhh finally, you made it. Spring is basically here and daylight savings has arrived! You can say goodbye to the sun setting at 4:30 and those habits of curling up on the couch with your main activities being watching Netflix. Spring is all about blossoming and shaking off those winter blues and it’s also the perfect time to try new things. I also think Spring is the best time to get into new hobbies. The weather isn’t too hot and it’s not too cold and you can work on your game so you’re ready to go once the sun is shining. And that next time you have a group of friends calling asking you if you want to throw a ball around or go to the driving range, you will be ready to say yes. So here are some of the sports I think you should get into this spring. 

Golf

Golf is honestly fun for any level of golfer and trust me, I’m farrrr from good but every time I hit the course with friends it’s a blast. I like to consider myself a “social golfer”. The type of golfer that is there for the atmosphere and the fun. Sure I want to play a good game but I’m not going to beat myself up over shanking the ball or hitting it into the bunker. And you definitely don’t need to be hitting the big 18 hole courses a little pitch and putt or even some driving range action is just as fun. If you have a glow in the dark golf near you you have to give that a go. The only downside is golf can be a super expensive sport and it adds up fast, the green fee, the clubs, balls, and of course if you’re going to rent a cart for the day but if you want to do things on the cheaper side pitch and putt is the way to go. Some of my favourite spots for a quick little game are Murdo Fraser in North Vancouver and the Stanley Park pitch and putt! You can also rent some clubs and some balls so no need to worry about all that! 

MMO_5364

Frisbee Golf 

Maybe golf isn’t your thing but maybe you like the idea of it? Frisbee golf. Two awesome worlds colliding. I mean frisbee is a childhood classic for me, so why not take that up a notch to Frisbee golf. It’s just a mix of golf and frisbee, same idea as golf: you want to get into the hole in as few shots or “throws” as possible. This is a great game to play if you just want to get a group together to share some laughs, have a good time, and do something that isn’t just sitting around. Especially with living in a city that gets rained on most of the year, when the sun comes out I want to make the most of my days and Frisbee golf with friends hits all the marks for me. Even if you aren’t too athletically inclined it’s just a sport that’s super easy to get the hang of and is guaranteed to be a good time. 

Tennis 

If you’re looking to get a workout in and your heart rate up then look no further. Tennis is one of those things that looks effortless but once you get on the court and have a racket in hand, ya… it’s not so effortless. If you want to get a good sweat and your steps in then try tennis. I am by no means good at this sport at all but every time I play it’s just straight laughs and a good time. If you are a beginner I do recommend playing with someone who is a beginner as well. Last summer I hit the courts with one of my friends who just happens to play Tennis in college and I think I spent most of the game chasing around her ball that was seeming to just come constantly back at me at a speed that was a bit alarming for my level. But playing with someone who is at my level and a little bit more on my wavelength with the whole chill fun vibes made for a way better game and a lot more back and forth action rather than me chasing the ball around. 

Fancyburg Park

Beach Volleyball

Grab a ball and a group of friends and hit the beach! Beach volleyball is another sport that will definitely get your heart pumping and your muscles burning. I mean have you ever tried running on a beach before? Beach volleyball on a sunny day is great because it really does it all the marks. You’re outside getting some fresh air and maybe even a tan, enjoying the ocean breeze with friends, and hey maybe you will even need to go for a cool down ocean dunk afterwards. Nothing beats the beach on a sunny day but if you’re looking to take things up a notch then you definitely gotta try some beach volleyball. And this is another one that is good for any skill level. 

Baseball

Baseball, or really any variation of thi, softball, California kickball, whatever it may get teams together to have a game leans into the true summer spirit. Personally I’m not the best at throwing and catching so California kickball is my choice. Me and my friends love to get a group together, bring some snacks and drinks down to our local field and start up a game. And trust me, you do not have to be good to have fun and don’t worry about bringing the team down, there’s always a position that you find will better suit you. I’m definitely more of an outfielder, I’m not good at all but I still have fun. It’s really all about just getting out there and having fun so if you can get that done you’re a winner in my books! 

baseball stock008

 

It was a long, hard, cold, dark, and wet winter here in Vancouver but finally you can see the light at the tunnel, spring and summer are coming in hot. Getting out of your winter routine can be hard, I mean it is just so cozy to stay in and hit play on Netflix but I can promise you getting out in the warm weather and making those memories with friends is so worth it. You’ll be socializing with friends, getting that Vitamin D, and moving your body to get your endorphins in running. So shake those winter blues out and get outside with one of these activities! It’s not about your skill level or how good you are, or being competitive, it’s all about just getting outside and enjoying the weather! No need to stress about not being pro, all sports take time too and practice makes perfect! My personal favourite right now is golf, what one will be your next go to? 

My Guide For Surviving BCIT

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If you’ve heard anything about BCIT, then I’m sure you’ve heard the rumours. The insane 6-7 course workload, the ruined sleep schedule, and the nonexistent social life. And if you go to BCIT I’m sure you’re probably knee-deep in assignments, fuelled by an unhealthy amount of caffeine, and wondering why you voluntarily signed up for this level of stress. But fear not BCIT friends, I have the perfect guide to walk you through the madness and whirlwind that is BCIT, with everything from the insane course load, making friends, dealing with group projects, and of course, surviving on sheer determination (and lots of coffee). 

Gateway_SMP-5418

Step 1: Accept That Your Life Is Now BCIT

Yup, you read that right, say goodbye to any life you knew before school and buckle up because these next 2 years will really push your buttons. You may have once been a fun, social, well rested friend with hobbies and interests, that was fun while it lasted right? But say goodbye to that for the next 2 years now. Now, your life revolves around lectures, assignments, and desperately refreshing myBCIT to see if your grades have been posted. 

BCIT isn’t your typical “chill” college experience where you can coast through on a couple of lectures and some light reading. No, BCIT is quite the opposite. They really love to just throw you off the deep end from day one. The sooner you accept that you are now a full-time academic athlete, the better. It’s also not like you get to choose your course load, class times, and electives, no no no, this is a scary surprise. A couple weeks out from the beginning of the semester you will get a jump scare that is your schedule. Be prepared for the early mornings and late nights and if you’re commuting from far away, I’m sending you the best of luck. Your schedules are generated for you which actually is a huge relief in my opinion, and on the bright side of the hectic course load you get to avoid the stress of registering for classes. 

Step 2: Say Goodbye To Your Sleep Schedule 

Remember when eight hours of sleep was a normal thing? Those were the good old days. Now, if you get five hours, that’s basically luxury. You also will just never be able to fully relax again, there is always something to do, whether it’s posting a discussion post, studying for a midterm, or writing a paper, I can guarantee you will never feel bored again. But hey, at least we will be prepared for the workforce right?

Step 3: Your Love Affair With Caffeine 

To be honest, I don’t even like coffee, and being completely honest, before I started at BCIT I rarely had any caffeine. Now? I’m cracking open Red Bulls at the crack of dawn and having a double espresso with my dinner. It’s wild. You will without a doubt become so dependent on caffeine. Coffee isn’t just a beverage at BCIT; it’s a personality trait. You will consume it in alarming quantities, and at some point, you’ll convince yourself that caffeine is an acceptable substitute for actual food. And there is sure no shortage of this good stuff around campus, whatever you want, you can find. It’s a caffeine lover’s heaven. Just remember that caffeine crashes are real, and there is a limit before your eye starts twitching uncontrollably. (Probably. I haven’t reached it yet.)

Step 4: Surviving Your Classes

Not to toot my own horn here, but I always kinda just thought I was smart and school came natural to me. Well, I mean it did in high school but that is NOT the case now. When I say in some of my courses I’m barely scraping by, I mean it, (I literally just failed my econ midterm last week :). Surviving BCIT classes is an extreme sport. Every term feels like a sprint mixed with a marathon, sprinkled with a little bit of emotional trauma. Here’s how to stay afloat:

  • Try not to fall behind: I get that life gets busy, but make your classes your main priority, just trust me on this one, you’d rather over study than under study. There is no catching up once you’re lost. A “quick break” from studying will turn into a 600-slide PowerPoint you don’t understand, just stay focused and on task. 
  • Pay attention: trust me I know it’s hard to pay attention the whole time in a 3 hour lecture and it seems easier to just tune out with a little bit of Wordle or Sudoku but don’t do it. 
  • Use office hours: I actually never used any office hours my first year but this second year I think my teachers are getting tired of my face. 
  • Befriend the smart kid: they might just save your GPA. 
  • Group projects: I know, I know, they are awful, and there’s a 90% chance one

Step 5: Making Friends (your emotional support crew)

You’re all in this together so why not make the best of it. BCIT is tough, but suffering alone is even worse. Your classmates will become your second family – whether you like it or not. But don’t worry these classmates will become some of your closest friends. I mean you’re really the only ones who truly understand the BCIT struggle. You’re working through the same course load, dealing with all the same things, and are surviving off of the minimal sleep together so why not make the best of it? Plus, study groups are the best way to prepare for exams in my opinion, getting a group together and chatting out the topics really gets it to stick in my brain! It’s also nice to have a group that’s kinda on the same wave of anti-social and social-ness. You all get that you don’t have time to be social with friends but you can share in the social-ness of study groups! 

Step 6: Don’t Give Up

The thing about BCIT programs is that since they are all generally 2 year diploma programs, people outside of BCIT just assume that they are so easy. Don’t listen to that, BCIT is hard and you are totally allowed to feel like that, but don’t let that turn you off from starting a BCIT program either. The programs definitely pack a punch within the 2 years but hey the stats are great and the results are proven. You see it everywhere, 96% of grads get jobs, and these programs prepare you for the workforce. After all BCIT is a super reputable school and although at times you may ask yourself why you even put yourself into all that stress I can promise you it will all be worth it in the end you get to cross that stage. So if you’re in the midst of the BCIT grind right now, enjoy the ride for what it is, and one day you will get to look back on these struggles and wish you were in school when you’re sitting at your desk on the new 9-5 grind. 

Overthinking: My Olympic Sport

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If over thinking was an Olympic sport I’d be representing Canada and bringing home the gold. My acceptance speech would go something like this: “I’d like to thank my family, my friends, my life, my job, and of course, my brain, for making me a world class athlete in the sport of overthinking. I was definitely born with a little bit of talent but hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard, and my overthinking is definitely working hard.” If overanalyzing minor conversations, spiraling over text messages, and replaying awkward moments from five years ago were Olympic events, I’d have more gold medals than Michael Phelps. Honestly, it’s a bit bizarre how much I overthink and quite frankly, just plain unhealthy, but I’m not the only one like this right? A lot of everyday situations in my life become mental gymnastics for me, where every situation is a high stakes event but it’s just a one man sport, my brain and I. 

Whistler Olympic Rings

It always starts with something so simple, I just work it up to being something huge when it is totally unnecessary! Even just a casual conversation, a text, or a glance at a stranger. To someone that isn’t an Olympic athlete in overthinking these moments just come and go but to be it’s a case that needs solving “why did they respond that way?” “Was that a dirty look?” “Did I say something?”. 

Here’s a small example of a case where I’d freak out (and this is real it happened last week with an old friend)

Me: Hey! It’s been awhile! Let’s grab coffee sometime soon 🙂

No response …..

30 minutes later: hmm maybe they’re busy, that text sounded normal right.

1 hour later: why did I add the emoji?! They probably think I’m lame.

2 hours later: did I make them mad? Do they hate me?

3 hours later they respond: “hey sorry I was at work, how does next week sound”

All that anxiety and overthinking for absolutely nothing, I do it to myself every time. 

Some people move on from awkward moments. I collect them. They live rent-free in my mind, and I revisit them regularly, like an old scrapbook of past moments I regret, but they aren’t even things to be regretful about, just classic old me, thinking hm maybe I shouldn’t have shook their hand that hard. It’s down to every little detail and it’s just insane. And hey, I’m recognizing that it’s insane, and putting it down on paper probably makes you think that I’m insane, but it’s the truth (I’ll probably lay in bed tonight awake why I even posted this paper to the internet). The moment in 2012 when I mispronounced a word in front of my entire class? Oh, it’s on repeat. The time I accidentally said “You too” to a server who told me to enjoy my meal? Haunts me every time I go out to eat so now you will catch me rehearsing my lines when it comes to time to order a meal.  People say, Just let it go. And I’d love to, trust me, I’d want nothing more. But my brain says, “let’s analyze it from every angle instead!” 

Overthinking  doesn’t stop at social interactions. No, no. It takes over every aspect of life, especially decision-making. If you know me then you know I’m the most difficult decision maker. I’m beyond indecisive, it’s not even funny. I actually can’t even make a simple decision without consulting my mom and at least 2 of my friends before. I just can’t seem to make up my mind for the life of me. Picture this: I’m at a coffee shop. I order a latte. Simple, right? But then the internal debate begins: Should I have gotten a tea instead? Did I make the wrong choice? “It’s 4 o’clock the caffeine will keep me up all night” I can’t escape it. And don’t get me started on online shopping, it’s one of my favourite past times, but trust me, I never actually make it to the “shop” part because my brain just can’t make up its mind with anything! Step 1: Add item to cart. Step 2: Spend an hour reading reviews, Step 3: Remove item from cart because do I really need this? Step 4: Think about it for three days. Step 5: Add it back to cart. Step 6: Panic-buy it at 2 AM. Step 7: Immediately regret it and return as soon as it arrives. 

The worst thing about being an overthink-er is spiraling into things that I said, constantly worrying if I said the wrong thing. I’m an opinionated person and I do love to talk but I get worried that I get carried away sometimes and just come off as too much. I say things then instantly regret it. And it’s nothing ever bad, it just leaves me thinking about what other people think about what I said. If I get a message or vibe back from someone that is even just slightly unclear I will without a doubt go into full panic mode. 

Here’s the thing, overthinking is exhausting. It’s like my brain never learned how to use the “off” switch. But, ironically, I also overthink about overthinking. “Am I making this a bigger deal than it is? Should I just stop overthinking? But wait, how does one stop overthinking? What if trying to stop overthinking makes me overthink more?” Maybe overthinking is just what makes me calmer in the long run? I honestly really don’t know and don’t have an answer. It’s also not like I’m actively trying to improve this area of my life. I’m no help to myself at all. But maybe that needs to change? See here goes overthinking again! At this point, I just accept that my brain likes to run mental marathons with no finish line. 

At the end of the day, if you’re an overthink-er too, then you know it’s not all bad. I mean sure there are many times when I just wish I could be a bit more in the present but think about all those times where your overthinking saved you. Maybe it’s good you think long and hard about the decisions in your life, maybe that thinking has saved you from making the wrong choice and you don’t even know it! So if you’re an overthink-er life me and feel somedays like you can’t even keep up with how fast you’re brain is thinking maybe just try look at it in a positive light and just think this is for the best, after all, you can’t change who you are so why not just own it! 

True Crime Obsessions

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If you’ve ever found yourself three hours deep into a Netflix documentary about a serial killer you’d never heard of before, or if you’ve lost sleep because you needed to hear just one more episode of a true crime podcast, congratulations, you’re just like, you have an obsession for true crime and mystery. I love true crime. I get so enthralled with it. Books, articles, TV shows, documentaries, podcasts, you name it, I’m hooked. A few of my friends like it as much as me but some of them think our obsession is just creepy. I mean I totally get it, a lot of things that have happened to these people are devastating and I see a lot of the controversy about viewing true crime as entertainment which I completely understand,  I don’t view it as entertainment, I just think in another life I was meant to be a detective. I love trying to solve everything and piece it together in my own little ways. But why? Why is this something you and I enjoy? I mean it’s definitely not a light watch before you go to sleep on Sunday night. But time and time again, I keep coming back to it, and when a new show drops on Netflix, I will stop whatever I’m watching to get into the series. 

True Crime

If you like the thrill of mystery, then this certainly brings you that. There’s a mystery, a villain, a victim, and often, a sense of justice (or injustice) that keeps you hooked. You want to see it through to the end, even if it is bone chilling and hard to watch at times. Humans are pretty much natural problem solvers. We like to figure things out for ourselves, solving patterns, connecting the dots. And true crime is just what brings us that satisfaction. My friends and I say  it almost feels like an escape. Everyday life gets stressful but having something that we can just tune out to and fully immerse ourselves is a good distraction. And trust me I know it does sound weird and no we don’t enjoy what happened to these people, it’s more just the whole process of uncovering the mystery. 

It’s weird because sometimes it’s definitely unpleasant and you want to turn away but you’re just so hooked you can’t. It’s the same reason you slow down when they see a car accident. You don’t want bad things to happen, but when they do, you feel as if you need to understand them and get the whole picture. I was watching a series with my friends last weekend and they actually told me there is a science behind this all that psychologists call morbid curiosity. My friend is a psych major so I always feel like she really gets into and sometimes maybe over analyzes everything but she really got me with this morbid curiosity thing. It’s kinda just a feeling of a mix of excitement, fear, and of course curiosity. You may find it scary but you just want to stay involved and keep learning more. 

At the back of your mind you know you’re safe too. You may be watching something terrifying but at the end of the day you’re probably in the safety of your own home (double maybe even triple checking that you locked the doors). It’s like you’re hearing the worst of the worst but at the end of the day you know you’re safe. It’s a weird feeling. But even then, when I’m watching it with a group of my friends feeling safe in my own home, for days after I’m sometimes left with feelings of anxiety and that’s when I know it’s probably time for a break. About a year ago I watched this series about a guy who would hide under girls cars and at night when they would go to get into their car he’d jump out from underneath, I’ll save you the rest of the details but from the time I watched that to now, every single time I get into my car those thoughts always come across in my brain. Let’s just say I definitely did take a needed break from true crime after I watched that one. Although sometimes it does leave me feeling freaked out and even more anxious then before I’ve kinda agreed with a few of my friends that sometimes it makes us feel more safe and a bit more prepared. I mean when you watch these sort of things go down in the back of your mind your going to always think “that would never happen to me” but there are some crazy people out there and it never hurts to be prepared, now I kinda feel a bit more prepared if I ever have a situation come up like that (knocking on wood). I’ve listened to a podcast about a girl who was being stalked and followed in her car and she instead of driving home she drove right to the police station, called them, and waited in that parking lot until she was safe to go into the station. I feel like in the moment the reaction is to just go right home because home is known as your safe space but that girl did the right thing by driving to the police station and her life could’ve been saved by just that simple act. 

Even though I’m a true crime fan and I can’t get enough of the thrill and mystery I have a couple issues with. Not all true crime content is created equally. Some cases are handled with sensitivity and care, while others feel exploitative, turning real-life tragedy that people’s families had to go through just into some sort of entertainment and profit. And this is my dilemma with it. Before I watch something I usually try to do a bit of research, if the family is involved in some sort of interview or in the show, then to me that gives it a green light to be watched because maybe the family wants some more awareness to the situation but it seems like the family is against it, then I’ll stay away from it. There’s also the issue of desensitization. If you consume too much true crime, you might start to feel numb to it. That’s when it stops being about learning and starts becoming a background noise of horror, which isn’t exactly ideal for mental health. To be honest I used to binge watch series with my friends in one night but we’ve kinda learned to take a step back from that. We just kinda came to the realization that maybe this is affecting us more than we know and if we are being left anxious and scared it would be better for us to leave the show unwatched and mystery unsolved then carry those feelings with us into the next day. 

So what do you think about true crime? It is something you steer clear from or something that you just need to be unfolded. I’m learning as I grow up. I’m getting to be more in the middle about it all but the key is definitely  balance when it comes to this stuff! 

Dry January: Past 2 Months

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This past January I decided to do dry January. To be honest going into it I had no idea what to expect or how to feel and really didn’t even know if I’d be able to finish it. For context prior to January my friends and I loved going out. And not even going out to clubs or parties, just sitting on a nice patio for happy hour, having some beers after a day of skiing, or even just debriefing our weeks with a bottle of wine on Friday. It was super casual, fun, but I was definitely drinking every weekend. Coming out of the Holiday season I decided that I kinda wanted to make a change in my life. Obviously I’m 21 and didn’t want to go sober forever so thought I’d try the month out. I guess I was really just tired of the hangovers, feeling sluggish the next day, and waking up with a dull headache. 

Paulaner - Beer - Germany

Long story short, I completed the full month of dry January. And to sum it up really quick for you, yes there were a couple hard days in there, after a stressful day or week it would’ve been nice to take the edge off with friends but honestly, I always felt super proud of myself at the end of each night which I think kept me going the whole time. It also helped that I did it with a couple of my friends and my boyfriend so I was never fully alone throughout the process and we had each other to keep ourselves accountable. The one thing that kept on crossing my mind throughout the process of the month was “what is the point of this”. I kinda just assumed that I’d be right back drinking the next week after January so I kept coming back to the idea of why am I doing all of this if I’m not actually going to change? Well let me tell you, dry January permanently changed the way I think and feel about drinking. 

So I did have a work party at the beginning of February that I went to and definitely did indulge in my fair share of drinks at that event but the next morning I woke up feeling super guilty and overall just gross so I knew I had to do something about that. I haven’t had a bad hangover since. My attitude towards the way I drink has done a complete 360. And I’m no saint at all, I’m not trying to preach this new way of how I’m feeling to everyone it’s just crazy to me to look back on how 3 nights a week I’d be going out and drinking with friends now it’s rare that you can convince me to have a couple casual beers. 

So here’s what I think really changed for me, I got used to the idea that not every night has to be a party. I used to feel so weird about staying in and when I stayed in I’d really just spend my Friday night on the couch. But I’ve come to the realization that I can still do a bunch of things on my Friday and Saturday’s completely sober or even just have 1 beer and learn to call it a night. I honestly never imagined I’d be so calm at this age. Just a couple months ago my life was so different and everytime I think about it I’m just left pretty shocked on how just one month really changed my life. As cheesy as that sounds it really did but even on some days it can still be hard but I think I’ve kinda nailed down the activities that make me feel good and things that I can do without drinking. 

Walking

I’ve never got this many steps in my life. It makes me feel so good too. I’ve always been a pretty anxious person but I think walking is just helping clear my brain and making me feel so refreshed. I try to get out somewhere scenic like a nice trail walk or the seawall but even when I don’t have time for that  a nice walk around my block does just fine. Waking up on a Saturday morning feeling refreshed without a headache and going for a walk while you know a lot of people are in bed aiding their hangovers is a good feeling (boosts the ego a little bit as well). 

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Cooking At Home

I’ve never really been the best at cooking, I mean I know how to cook basic meals and it tastes pretty good but it’s always just simple classic comfort food. With my weekend nights freeing up I’ve got super into learning new recipes and making some more challenging dishes. And instead of cooking with a glass of wine in hand I’ve swapped that out for a lovely diet coke. 

Hobbies

When I was really in the height of my partying phase I feel like all the hobbies I enjoyed went out the window. My free time was spent drinking and then aiding a hangover so there was just no time to do the things I loved. Now with all this time on my hands I’ve been able to spend more time doing the things I enjoy which I promise you is a lot more fulfilling then having some beers. I’m back into bike riding and painting which are things I kinda gave up for awhile. 

As for things that I would do that normally involve drinking I’ve kinda just learned to slow my roll down and stick with just a couple casual beers. My friends and I love to get together to watch hockey games and that generally involves some drinking so if I just bring 2 along with me then I know I can still enjoy my time with friends and not feel pressured to get drunk and really party (and if you’re surrounding yourself with friends who pressure you to drink, that may not be the right group to be around). It’s still good to enjoy yourself, it’s just about finding those ways to handle those situations and what works best for you. 

At the end of the day, stopping or even just cutting back on drinking is not an easy task but I’m kinda just proof to myself that it is totally possible too and I haven’t felt like I’ve missed out on anything at all. Birthday’s, celebrations, and parties are all things I’m still going to go to and enjoy but for the most part I just don’t feel the need to be as excessive as I used to be. Life is good and I’m feeling happy. I’m not going sober for life by no means at all but having this balance in my life has totally made a positive difference. If you’ve been curious about life with cutting back, give it a try! Literally nothing bad can come out of it. 

 

The Highs And Lows Of Working With Your Mom

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Have you ever had to work with your mom before? Well I have. It was an experience for sure, neither great nor bad. But it happened. Whether this was your choice, a random coincidence, or the result of a desperate job hunt situation, if you’ve ever worked with your mom before, welcome to the club (extra points if you still lived at home while working with her). Working with your mother is one of those experiences that can range from “this is the best thing ever” to “I am about to throw a stapler across the room.” But before you start to draft up that resignation letter, I’d like to point out that it’s not all bad, there can be some pretty good positives too. 

Office

So around 2 years ago now I was employed at the same company as my lovely mother. She actually got me the job. And although we worked in different departments it was a super small company and office space with about 10 employees and she basically oversaw everything I did. It honestly started out great, things were going fine, we tried our best to leave work at work so when we came home she only played the role of being my mom and not my boss. But to be honest, it wore me out quickly, and for a college student living at home while all of my friends were off across the country at college, working with my mom was kinda just the icing on the cake. Long story short I left, buttttt it was a good time while it lasted, and if you’re in that same position that I was in there are definitely some perks to it all.

Carpooling 

Let’s face it. Gas is crazy expensive and parking around Vancouver is just a disaster. If you’re not paying upwards of $15 a day you’re probably just getting towed, but that was all eliminated when I got to drive with my mom to work. I mean yes, sometimes she’s yelling at me to run out the door because it always seems like I’m making her 10 minutes late and yes she likes her car freezing in the morning to wake her up (gross right) but it saves me from paying crazy parking prices, and let alone the actually parking part (me and parallel parking are not a match made in heaven). On good times she sometimes even lets me have the aux cord:)

Lunch Breaks

To be real, I’m not the best at making new friends. I’m just a bit lazy when it comes to the whole meeting new people small talk thing, but I don’t like to be the person who spends their lunch break alone, or worse, hiding out in the bathroom, eating with my mom solved this all. I liked eating lunch with her but I think she was secretly annoyed all along. Sometimes her department would go out and I’d always just be tagging along and having nothing to add to their financial analytic conversation, but hey I think I made it fun. 

Coffee Stops

I love going for coffee. A good Starbucks latte or matcha just hits sometimes. But you know what doesn’t hit. The amount of money it costs and how it seems to just add up so fast! But like mother daughter, we share the same coffee and matcha addiction and 6 out of 10 times, it was on her! I mean hey don’t get me wrong I’m not a freeloader, she was offering and I’d slip in the occasional coffee run offer too, but all in all let’s just say we got our hands on a good amount of caffeine throughout the week. 

#coffee

The Comfortability Factor

I don’t know about you but I despise having to start out a new job. I mean it’s just the worst. You feel so out of place, it’s hard to get into a good rhythm and flow, and you feel like such an outsider. But when I started at this new job the whole settling in process just felt a lot easier. She introduced everyone to me, showed me the ropes, and even where the office kitchen snacks were. I felt super comfortable within the first week on the clock but it probably would have taken me a lot more time to reach that point if I was working elsewhere. 

Don’t get me wrong. It was not all positive there was quite the fair share of negatives that came with it. I mean it was kinda bound to happen, I just turned 20, I was living at home, not in school, and worked with my mom, while everyone else my age was out living on their own and figuring their lives out, I just felt a bit…. well… trapped. 

No Escape From Mom Mode

To get things straight me and my mom were not in the same departments. Actually in quite different ones, but somehow, someway, even on just the smallest slip up, she found out and she was mad. And not like a boss mad where it’s a sit down conversation, she was mom mad. Now I know she practically got me the job and I can’t let her down but c’mon everyone makes mistakes from time to time right?

Personal Business Was Not Personal

During my time at this job I was actually going through a breakup. And when I tell you the whole office knew every little detail. The whole office knew every single detail. I get she’s my mom and if I wasn’t working there she probably would still be talking about things going on in my life (as moms do) but this crossed the line. For weeks I had random people checking in on me, telling me everything was going to be okay, and offering me snacks when all I wanted was to be left alone. There was really no escaping this one either. It was awful, miserable, and I was hysterical.

What’s Work Life Balance?

There was no work life balance. Home came to work, and work came home. This is obviously not a healthy mix. Work life balance is the key to not getting burnt out in my opinion but this just really wore me out. We’d always bring up little things about work at home and visa versa and it felt like I was just always “on”. 

Working with your mom is not for the weak. It’s not the easiest thing but it’s also not the hardest thing. I don’t regret it at all and I actually was able to learn a lot about her and I got a lot of experience working in my first corporate-ish job. It was fun to see the work side of her (especially the work side of her at the Christmas party…)  For a while I felt a little bit behind my age group for working with my mom but honestly at the end of the day work experience is work experience and we had some pretty good times. Do you think you could ever work with your mom?

Katy Perry Is Going To Space?!

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Picture this. You get an email from NASA, Space X or one of the crazy private space travel companies and they offer you a trip to space. No strings attached. You get to hop on this spaceship and go into space. What do you say? Do you take the chance and go? I mean it is a once and lifetime chance right? Or do you play it safe and keep yourself grounded on earth? It’s the final frontier, the infinite void, and the place where billionaires go when they get bored. To be honest, I do have a lot of fears but one of my top 5 worst fears is space. Everything about. I’d never even considered going into space, it’s a thought I don’t even want to think about but recently I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw that Katy Perry along with some other notable female celebrities, are hopping a jet and heading into space. I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the post, but to be fair everything is so insane these days I feel like I’ve become numb to all of this crazy celebrity info. But it did get me thinking more about my fear of space and just Katy Perry going in general. Like doesn’t that just sound so insanely random to you? That is just an insane out of this world risk to me. And she has kids! Doesn’t she want to protect herself for her family at all costs? Or is this just something that’s an absolute no brainer “I have to do it” thing for some people? For centuries, since the beginning of time the curiosity of space has always been there for people and I guess this year we will get Katy Perry’s take on space. 

I don’t know about you but I had this understanding that only astronauts could go to space. I used to think of astronauts as the peak of human intelligence and training, brilliant scientists spending years studying, physical conditioning, and eating weird vacuum-sealed food just for the chance to float in zero gravity and collect valuable information to bring back down to earth Now it seems to me If you’ve got a fat enough wallet (or the right connections), you can book a trip to space like it’s an all-inclusive resort. Since when did space travel become so accessible and acceptable? I honestly for the life of me cannot wrap my head around this. Katy Perry is going to space. I feel like I’m viewing space travel as a trend right now, it’s kinda just like the Cyber Truck to me. Something that people want to take a ride in just to say that they have done it. It’s some sort of weird validation thing I think. Everyone is always looking to be first in something or have things that other people don’t and I think going to space is a pretty unbeatable way to one-up a crowd right? It’s the ultimate way to get ahead and show that you’ve done something that other people can only dream of. Or maybe I’m looking into this too far and Katy Perry is just truly interested in going into space and seeing what that whole zero gravity thing is all about. 

All jokes aside, why is Katy Perry even going anyway and why does it matter and why am I so enthralled with it? This will actually be the first all female group to go to space in the last 60 years. 60 years since an all female group has gone past the Kármán Line (which is the internationally recognized boundary of space). The last recorded female flight was actually done solo by Valentina Tereshkova who was also the first woman to go into space. Alongside Katy Perry will be Gayle King and Lauren Sanchez (who also just happens to be engaged to Jeff Bezos). These ladies will be jumping aboard a Blue Origin rocket making it the 11th human flight. And if you are anything like me and panicking at the idea of these ladies heading into space without any NASA people on board don’t worry because they will be joined with bioastronautics researcher, Amanda Nguyen, NASA rocket scientist, Aisha Bowe, and movie producer, Kerrianne Flynn. The exact flight date has not been named yet however you can expect this all to happen sometimes in the Spring. 

I guess putting all my fears aside I could say I get the appeal. You’d get to float around in zero gravity, look out the window, and see our beautiful blue planet from a view that only a handful of people in human history have ever experienced. I bet the feeling once you’re looking down is just a surreal moment. Everything would get put into perspective too, on earth you’re really just a tiny human wandering around, and besides planet earth, there is so much to explore. To be honest I have wondered what floating around in zero gravity is like so I guess that would be super cool to experience. Just drifting through space floating around weightlessly next to Katy Perry, sounds like a once in a lifetime chance to me. It’s the closest thing to being a superhero, and it looks like pure fun. I grew up (still am) obsessed with Harry Potter. Like so obsessed. So you can imagine my reaction when I went to visit Harry Potter land in Universal Studios in California. I was in my element, probably one of the happiest days of my life, I was shocked, amazed, and just so happy. I know there’s people out there who feel the same about Star Wars so maybe space to them is just how I felt about being at Hogwarts. 

So back to my first question, if you got that text from NASA, would you choose to go? When you weigh all the pros and cons, the answer really depends on what kind of person you are. If you live off of adrenaline and taking risks it could just be a no-brainer yes for you and totally worth all the risks that space travel brings. But if you are someone who gets nervous at just the thought of a roller coaster, then it might be best to sit this one out. To be quite frank, my answer would be a hard no. I don’t even have to think about it. I literally have no desire to go to space and experience that. And yes, while I agree it’s cool and interesting, I just wouldn’t want to willingly put myself in a scenario where I feel that level of risk to my life accompanied with high levels of my anxiety and my heart probably beating out of my chest. So, would you go?