Author Archives: Griffin Keyes

The Vault Part 2

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The year is 1982, the album is Thriller, and the song is “Beat It”. What you might not know is that awesome guitar solo at the end was performed by none other than Eddie Van Halen. He was never credited for the performance, never received any compensation, nor did he appear in the accompanying music video due to a clause in his contract. However, he did more than just that, he also helped re-arrange the song which included speeding up the tempo and changing the key from E flat to E minor. Why? Well every guitar player knows that playing in E minor is one the easiest positions to work from.

 

 

The call for some musical input was put through by the legendary producer, and co-writer,  Quincy Jones. Van Halen has stated that he initially believed the call to be a hoax but was quick to offer his services once he realized the opportunity. Toto guitarist, and fellow virtuoso, Steve Lukather was also on the track, albeit filling rhythm duties. It’s weird to say this but I think the “Beat It” Solo might be my favorite EVH solo there is. It is one of the shortest solos he ever recorded but he fits everything that defines his style (fast tremolo picking, bar dives, finger tapping, harmonics,) into a tight space and the song really wouldn’t be what it is without it.

Bands That Used To Sound A Lot Different

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Musicians are just like the rest of us; it can take some growing pains for them to figure out what works, and what doesn’t as they forge an identity that is uniquely their own. Here are three bands that underwent major stylistic shifts somewhere along the way. These groups differ by what point in their career they changed things up, why the change happened, and the success that they achieved in their different iterations.

 

Eagles

 

In talking about the Eagles, it really is a tale of two bands. The Eagles are far from the only band to have a prominent stylistic shift, however, they are one of the few where the first iteration was as successful as the second. There is no argument that Hotel California (1976) is the groups defining effort, but the Eagles would be in the rock n roll hall of fame even without the album. Between 1971 and 1975, the Eagles were massively successful as they transitioned from country to a harder rock sound. Their debut album “Eagles”, spawned three hits on the top-40. “Peaceful Easy Feeling”, “Take It Easy”, and “Witchy Woman”. Each song had the sort of laid-back, loose, folk and country-like blend that defined the California sound of the late 60s and early 70s. The next album “Desperado” wasn’t just a country album: it was an all- in concept album about cowboys and the wild-west. It wasn’t until 1974, with the album “On The Border”, that the Eagles sound began to change, ushered in with the arrival of guitarist Don Felder. The album had the band’s first #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 with “Best of My Love” and a lesser  hit with “Already Gone”: a song that was indicative of things to come.  The hits kept coming with the 1975 album “One Of These Nights” with songs like “Lying eyes”, “ Take It To The Limit”, and the titular track which also went #1 on the billboard hot 100. Then 1976, The Eagles go from superstars to mega-stars with “Hotel California”. The album was the first to feature Joe Walsh, which coincided with the departure of original guitarist Bernie Leadon and the end of the first phase of the Eagles Career and their country-dominant sound. But there you go, an entire hall of fame career before their most successful album. That is pretty crazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5zB4ARUBtg

Tame Impala

 

The pieces were always there but Kevin Parker’s debut album as Tame Imapala “Innerspeaker” is a far cry from the indulgent space-like, synthesizer laden escapes that define his music today. Innerspeaker is still a psychedelic album, but it’s a largely  guitar-driven effort with its basis still firmly in the blues. This sounds crazy but if I had to describe those early songs through analog I would say that Innerspeaker sounds like a mix between Sgt Peppers era Beatles, The Black Keys, and Cream. Yeah I know, what the heck, but listen to “Lucidity”,  or “It Is Not Meant To Be” and tell me that I am wrong. Then compare them to anything off of “Currents” sit back in awe of just how far Kevin Parker has shifted stylistically.

 

Genesis

 

Before Genesis became part of the 80s pop machine that is Phil Collins, they specialized in the type of music that is hard to get on the radio. Not because it isn’t good, far from it but rather it is too complicated and the musicians behind it arew  too good and have no interest in toning down their efforts. Guitar solos, drum solos, flute solos, keyboard solos, fantasy lyrics, 10-minute songs, and drawn out instrumental sections were the name of the game. Albums like “Selling England By The Pound” (1973) and “The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway” (1974) are why early-Genesis are progressive rock greats alongside the likes of Yes, Emerson Lake and Palmer, and Uriah Heep.

Opinions I Can Only Say Here… Sports Edition

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Welcome to “Opinions I Can Only Say Here”: my personal safe space here on evolution where I write about the opinions I usually keep to myself. I got a lot of them, so this week we are doing sports.

Lebron James Is The Best Basketball Player Ever

 

It bothers me greatly that this is considered a controversial opinion and it bothers me even more how many people from this generation of sports fans choose to tear down the present and uplift MJ. Like come on folks, if your my age you never saw Michael play so get out of here. They always use the same arguments: 3-6 in the NBA Finals, not clutch at the free throw line, ran to form a super team in Miami, and his choke-job in the 2011 finals against the Mavericks. I get it people. I will even grant that he has a talent for the sort of off-putting cringe that just makes it easy to hate on the guy. Yeah.. that whole signing party thing in Miami was pretty bad. I am done trying to convince people but there you have it. I Griffin Keyes believe Lebron James is the best basketball player of all time. You don’t have to agree with me by try appreciating the guy while he’s still here. There will never be another Lebron James.

 

 

Aaron Rodgers Is Better Than Tom Brady  

 

Yes I am salty, heartbroken Packers fan, but I also don’t understand how we anointed Brady as the “G.O.A.T” solely on the basis that he has won the most rings in a game as fickle and as difficult to find team success as Football. This is not basketball where your best players on the floor for well over half of the game, meaning there is more time and opportunities for their impact. Football is like war, there are so many intricacies and ways for things to go south. One injury and that can be it for your teams playoffs chances. Case in point, we (Packers) lost to the 49ers this year solely on the underperformance of our special teams units. Let’s be real, everyone who says Brady is the GOAT, does so solely off of the number of rings he has won and the intangible like his leadership. If that’s what it takes then sure you got me, but I don’t think so. We don’t say Bill Russel is the best basketball player ever but he has more rings than he does fingers hold them… See what I mean?!

 

No more of the referees “swallowing the whistle” in the NHL playoffs

 

This one might grind my gears the most because it always seems to affect my team (Canucks) disproportionately. A call is a call, and it should be a call no matter what stage of the regular season or post-season it is. I hate the level of discretion that referees are given in the playoffs. It leads to too much ambiguity, about what players can or cannot get away with, and when the referees do finally decide to bring down the hammer, the application is almost always inconsistent and unfair. I get it, fans want as few interruptions as possible but would it not be better for all of us if we our teams were in the know for the most important games of their career?

 

Kamaru Usman Would Kick George St Pierre’s Ass

 

Yep. Sorry my fellow Canadians. Kamaru Usman is without a doubt the greatest UFC welterweight of all time. He has faced murderers row since earning the belt in 2019. His game is constantly evolving from its wrestling base. His striking is now catching up and he fights every fight to get a finish. George on the other hand dominated a much lesser era and he got progressively more boring and reliant on his wrestling as his career went on. Call me salty but I am still mad for all the times I paid to see GSP fight and he just held a guy on the mat for 25 minutes. This fight would not be close.

 

 

These Guitars Cost What?!

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If you don’t play the guitar, you should get on that. For now, you might  have to take my word for it when I tell you GUITARS CAN BE EXPENSIVE. For the most part, I would say these instruments generally fall into the category of “you get what you pay for”.  There is ample selection to meet the needs and price-points for players of all levels and interests. A cheap Squire (the value line of Fender) or Epiphone (the value line of Gibson) may run you only a few hundred dollars. Start moving into higher end models of Gibson, Fender, Gretsch,  and Martin, among many others, and the prices just keep climbing. That’s not even including the used guitar market and what some particular years of certain models can fetch. Today, we are talking about some guitars that you and I will probably never be able to afford. These are storied instruments that have passed through some great hands over the years and created some tunes you are sure to know. So, leave your wallet and enjoy looking at some pictures as I tell you about them.

 

“Brownie”- Stratocaster:  Eric Clapton

 

This was the “Layla” guitar. One of the first that Clapton began using extensively around 1970 after he made the transition from Gibson guitars to Fender. The instrument sold at auction for $450,000

 

“The Black Strat” – Stratocaster: David Gimour

 

This is the guitar that was used to create arguably the greatest guitar solo of all time on Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb”. However, it saw far more service than just that. The guitar was sued extensively on Dark Side Of The Moon, Wish You Were Here, and The Wall. Don’t freak out but the Black Strat sold for $3,975,000 at a climate change auction. That’s enough for almost half a down payment in Vancouver.

 

“Greeny” – 1959 Gibson Les Paul: Peter Green, Gary Moore, and Kirk Hammett

 

A 1959 Gibson Les Paul will never sell for anything less than a million these days. It was rare year, few were made, and even fewer of these iconic instruments remain today. Many all-time great guitar players utilized a 1959 Gibson Les Paul at some point. Jimmy Page, Joe Walsh, Slash, Eric Clapton, Keith Richards, Mick Taylor, and I am going to stop there. Perhaps there are none as iconic, amongst guitar enthusiasts, as Fleetwood Mac Founder Peter Greens model. “Greeny” as it is known was used extensively by Peter on those early Mac records. What set the guitar apart was its nasally, thin-tone which was unlike other Les Pauls. This was the result of a Peter Green inserting one of the pickups the wrong way, meaning they were “out of phase” with each other. Green parted way with the guitar in 1970 after which it was put to heavy use by Irish Rocker Gary Moore before Kirk Hammett purchased the guitar in 2016. It is unknown exactly what he paid for it but $2 million is a reasonable guess.

The “Frankenstrat”- Eddie Van Halen

 

Eddie was chasing a sound and playing a style that was every as revolutionary to the late 1970s as Hendrix was a decade prior. He was searching for a guitar that had the tone of a Gibson Les Paul but the playability (ease of use) of a Fender Stratocaster. There were no “superstrats” like we have today from brands like Jackson, Ibanez, and Dean. So, he made his own using a Stratocaster-style body he purchased from a guitar store, a single Gibson pickup, maple neck, chrome hardware, a sloppy striped paintjob, and perhaps most importantly a locking Floyd Rose Tremolo system. This allowed him to bend notes to absurd degrees with the tremolo bar without the guitar ever going out of tune. The “Frankenstrat” looks like absolute shit to be frank. However, its one of the most important guitars of all time and should it ever be sold by Eddies son, Wolfgang, I can’t even imagine what it would go for.

 

 Gibson ES-335: Eric Clapton 

 Clapton will forever be associated with the Fender Stratocaster but the Gibson ES-335, in a cherry red finish, was a mainstay during the earlier stages of his career with the Yardbirds, Bluesbreakers, and Cream. The guitar sold for just under $850,000 at one of Clapton’s many auctions to support his Crossroads foundation.

 

Great Movie Soundtracks

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What makes a great movie soundtrack? Is it how the track enhances or pushes different aspects of a film? Is it the ability of a soundtrack to stand on its own? Do the songs need to be written for the movie, or can they be existing pieces put to new effect? I asked myself these very questions and, in turn, came up with three great movie soundtracks based on small criteria. First off, the film cannot be a musical. The soundtrack can comprise any song; it does not have to be written specifically for the movie. The soundtrack has to do more than simply fill space or serve as background music. Finally, the songs actually need to be relevant to the film. In other words, there are no electric guitars when things occur in the 1920s…. looking at you Peaky Blinders. I am by no means saying these are the best soundtracks, but they stood out the first time I saw the film, and I think of them as a crucial part of what makes each picture work.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood is a special movie, the kind you are supposed to see for the first time in theaters. For me, a big part of that is how Tarantino weaves the soundtrack across scenes to maintain absolute control over what we should be thinking and feeling at different moments in the film. The choice in songs is great and historically accurate but it’s where the songs appear and what they do by being there that is important. Remember when Cliff (Brad Pitt) drops Rick (Leonardo Dicaprio) at home? He then drives off into the night, where he passes through Sunset Boulevard before making his way onto the highway and eventually back to his humble residence. The songs we hear during this scene, and the cuts it makes, are “Summertime” by Billy Stewart, “The Letter” by Joe Cocker, and “Ramblin Gamblin Man” by Bob Seger. These songs are bright, loud, and dynamic: just like the visuals, you are taking in. The bright lights of Los Angeles at night and a bustling highway as Tarantino gets us energized early on. The point here is to take it all in and get familiar with the backdrop that will host future events.

Later on in the film, after a confrontation at Spawn Ranch, Tarantino wants to subdue us a little. We know the movie isn’t over, but he wants to ring all the excitement in after a tense scene. So, the next song we hear is an unplugged version of “California Dreamin” that is every bit as melancholy but hardly as driving as the original. It puts us in an almost reflective state as the sun begins to set over Los Angeles and Cliff drives Rick home once again. This time, the shots we see of the city are not ones that excite us. The city looks asleep or perhaps, much like the plotline at this stage in the film, in a brief state of calm before the excitement begins again.

Bladerunner

Again we have an incredible movie, one that thrives off of an atmosphere that is in large part due to its soundtrack. Bladerunner was unique for its time because it took classic neo-noir elements and applied them to a science-fiction concept. Neo-Noir literally means “black movie,” and this comes down to the right balance of production elements to get that uneasy and shadowy feel. In Bladerunner, the soundtrack, done by Vangelis, is the best example I can think of for using sound to create atmosphere.

The jazz-like melodies layered on top of resounding synth pads enhance every aspect of the film they are supposed to. Think about when we first hear “Bladerunner Blues.” Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), is in the middle of shooting a replicant to death as she falls

through layer after layer of storefront glass. Now think about where it happened: bustling streets, smog, rain, neon lights, and a dark sky. There couldn’t be a better track to tie it all together. It’s a total vibe on its own as well. The next time you are on the SkyTrain at night, especially if it’s raining, put your headphones in, listen to “Bladerunner Blues,” and stare out the window. You can’t help but feel like you’re in a movie yourself.

Goodfellas

It’s easy to get lost in a film as great as Goodfellas. It is even easier to lose track of how much time has passed in the movie. The film, which follows the life of Lucchese crime family associate Henry Hill, takes place between 1955 and 1980 over almost three hours. I didn’t realize until long after my first viewing that the soundtrack isn’t just good, but it is historically accurate at every stage of the film as it essentially “ushers” us across time. A the beginning of the film, in the mid-1950s, we hear acts like Tony Bennett and The Moonglows. Come the middle of the film, the early 1970s, we hear “Sunshine of Your Love” by Cream and “Layla” by Derek And The Dominoes. Scorsese used music to mark time totally passed me by the first time.

Icons or Actors?

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This is not a critique of men who can’ act. This is an acknowledgment of a select few whose success on the big screen is more about their own presence than the characters they portray. These men don’t immerse themselves in a script or “become” the character. Instead, they use them as a vessel to more or less be themselves. None of them are all-time talent, but they all achieved what talent alone cannot. Whether it was by design or not, we fell in love with them, not just their movies. In my mind, this is what has (or had) allowed them to have long careers. The films were great, but the focus, the draw, the intrigue, and the appeal was always about them.

Steve McQueen

The “King of Cool” was one of the most effortless-looking dudes I can think of. He really was just that: cool. While he was capable of a more “delicate” approach to acting, such as the film “The Sand Pebbles,” he is best remembered for films that matched the hectic pace at which he burnt through life. Cars, guns, explosions, and adventure were what McQueen did best. Classics like “The Great Escape,” “Bullitt,” and “Papillon” were never short on action.

The way Steve carried himself was like someone barely putting on a cold front to hide their anger and inner turmoil. It seemed like there was always trouble brewing in his mind but he somehow, he kept it together most of the time. This quality allowed Steve to bring a sense of vulnerability to roles that were by nature authoritative and perhaps more black and white, especially for that time. McQueen’s movies were pretty straightforward, but he had a level of realness because of his vulnerability that actors like John Wayne or James Garner never did. I don’t think that was acting either. I think he was more conflicted than he’d probably want audiences to believe. For that reason, I think he was a few notches above most action stars in his era and today.

Harrison Ford

The one thing most people seem to know about Harrison Ford is that he was a carpenter before he was an actor. He was also 35 years old, when he finally got his break when he was cast as Han Solo in Star Wars: “A New Hope”. He had a variety of small roles at that point , including one as “Bob Falfa” in George Lucas’s film “American Graffiti” in 1973. At the time, Lucas had a policy against re-casting actors in new projects. Fortunately for Ford, after being asked to read lines for Han Solo, he won the director over and was given the role. If that was luck, Harrison Ford never took it for granted, as his films have gone on to gross more than $9 billion worldwide.

 

Ford is first and foremost an action star, and he made his money doing so. “Star Wars,” “Indiana Jones,” “The Fugitive,” “Air Force One,” among others. Yet films like “Blade Runner” and “Presumed Innocent” show that Ford is just as capable of carrying a movie with a more staggered pace. I have listened to a handful of interviews with the man, and it never fails to amuse me how much he hates talking about his movies. If you haven’t seen a Harrison Ford interview, do that now. While he may come across as dismissive or cold, I don’t think that’s who he is at all. Harrison Ford is exactly who his most memorable characters are: confident (Han Solo), resourceful (Dr. Richard Kimble, Indiana Jones), and purposeful (Rick Deckard). I don’t think Ford is the type to let something go to chance when he can say in the matter. When I look at his career, I don’t see a man who stumbled into acting and then let the tide take him where it may. I see an intentional, thought-out career of someone who never failed to make the most of an opportunity and always valued a straightforward approach. This is why there is no separation between Harrison Ford and his characters. He is Han Solo. He is Indiana Jones. He is Rick Deckard. They are him.

Samuel L Jackson

Like Harrison Ford, Samuel L Jackson was a late bloomer in the acting game who was has never been short on success once the ball got rolling. Jackson is the highest-grossing actor of all time, with his films bringing in over $27 billion worldwide. Jackson began acting in the 70s, but his journey to superstardom began much later with small roles in huge films including “Jurassic Park,” “Coming To America,” and “Goodfellas .”His “big-break” though came with “Pulp-Fiction”, his first collaboration with Quentin Tarantino, and a film that also resurrected the career of John Travolta. For me, that epic monologue in the apartment is almost like Jackson unleashing all that pent-up frustration for it having taken so long to get his career started. Obviously, that’s probably not really the case but knowing his story, including battles with addiction, makes the scene feel like a coming-out party of sorts. Many awesome movies, and even more motherfuckers, later, and you have a career built on being himself. Whether he plays a “hero” (The Hateful Eight, Star Wars, Pulp Fiction) or the villain ( Kingsman, Glass): he is pretty much always the same dude. Heck, he convinced George Lucas to give him a purple lightsaber so his character would be easier to spot amidst a sea of green and blue sabers in a large battle scene. Samuel L Jackson doesn’t act; he plays himself. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Addicted to Self Expression

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Self-expression fascinates me. I am drawn to things that are inherently personal in that the way one approaches them is in large part an extension of who they are. The older I get the more comfortable I am cultivating an identify that is unique to me and the more captivating I find others who do the same. I’m the type of person who thinks a lot and feels a lot, so I need a lot of outlets to express the different sides of myself. The way I see it is that the most fulfilled people are those who never let the “noise” upstairs get too loud. They have hobbies that simultaneously shape and express who they are. The things we are passionate about become a part of us as they draw personality from us. We all need things like that in our lives because if we don’t where does all that energy go? At best its wasted while at worst it comes out in ways we would rather it didn’t. Here are three of my hobbies. I am not an expert or professional at any of them but each  has and continues to be a journey that allows me to exercise each part of my psyche.

 

Chess

 

Chess is a fascinating game because it is equal parts science and art. Each element is present and they must always operate in tandem to achieve results. You need the creative flair to find inspiration on the board but also the cold-hard calculations to refine it and keep your intuition honest. This tension between science and art is what keeps me coming back to the game of chess. I have played in many tournaments, and continue to play online on a daily basis, but it never gets old seeing how two people approach the same position. How we differ in strategy and the tactics we are able to find to achieve it. No two players are the same, each of us has a different balance of art and science, intuition and calculation, attack and defense, and preferences for the types of positions we like to find ourselves in. I see chess as deeply intimate because the way someone plays is an extension of their personality. I am by nature impatient so my preference has always been for aggressive tactical play that involves a lot of creativity-driven risk. However, my defense and positional awareness has steadily improved. I see my growth in balance at the chess board translate into more patience and informed decision making in real life. Simply put, chess lets me get that aggression out while also forcing me to work on being more cautious and level-headed.

 

Music

 

Music has and will forever be one of the pillars of my life. My mother made both me and my brother start training the piano classically when were kids and I took it up to grade 10 with the Royal Conservatory. I picked up the electric guitar along the way and I consider that to be my main instrument. The appeal speaks for itself, you can take music any direction you’d like. With the guitar the options are never ending. What techniques you use, what model of guitar, model of amplifier, string weight, the size of the guitar pick, what scales, key, how hard or how soft you approach the strings. I could go for days about how all the different sounds you can get out of a single instrument. One thing is certain though when it comes to the electric guitar. No two of us play the same way. You and I could have the same guitar and same setup yet we will always sound like ourselves.

 

Why is that?

 

 

The equipment is just there to capture the sounds that you provide. The guitar may as well be a blank canvas; it is nothing without the unique handling of the player.

 

 

Climbing/ Kickboxing/ Running

 

I am no special talent at any of these yet I am madly in love with all of them. When I spar, I feel like a chess piece in a game. Outwardly, its all physical but ultimately it’s a battle of two minds trying to impose their will upon each other. You learn the tools ( variety of kicks, combinations, head movement, counters) but how they fit into your game plan is up to you. To fight well you need to know yourself and how what you like to do matches up with your opponent. Never gets old.

 

Bouldering is so impersonal but so captivating at once. The wall doesn’t give a rip about you but you need to embrace it anyway to solve the puzzle. I would say of my three physical hobbies I am easily the worst at bouldering but there is a simple feeling that comes when I  solve a problem on the wall that reminds me of something I would have felt as a kid. You know like beating the boss in a video game on the 50th try or bringing home a good report card. It makes me happy.

 

I will run until I am no longer able to physically because it is the most organic form of release I know. This is where I can step back from the noise for a while, regroup, and come back with a plan. It’s exercise but it’s a lot more than that. Running is part of who I am.

 

The Vault Of Mostly Useless Musical Information. Part 1

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The only thing I enjoy more than exploring music (old and new) is telling people how much I know about music. This is where I want to bridge the past and present and expand your musical knowledge so that you can appreciate the things you listen to even more. There is no pattern here, just one interesting piece of musical history each week that I want to share with you. Of course you could find all of these things online but there is a good chance you wouldn’t know to look otherwise. Some you might  know and if you do Let me know in the comments!

“While My Guitar Gentle Weeps” , off of the Beatles “White Album” features some of George Harrisons finest guitar work. Wait , you mean that wasn’t him? Nope, that was Eric Clapton, in an uncredited effort, with that haunting vibrato. So how did that happen? Well, it boils down to one legendary guitar and an unfocused band struggling to finish a song. The song, written by Harrison, was in recording limbo. The rest of the band, but especially Paul McCartney and John, were less than enthusiastic about the song. As such, they put little effort into recording attempts. George was also struggling to record guitar parts that he was satisfied with. Simply put, a song with a lot potential was going nowhere. This is where “Slow Hand” comes in. Clapton had been friends with Harrison for several years at this point and they even co-wrote the song “Badge” for Clapton’s band Cream. While in New York on tour with Cream, Clapton purchased a beautiful Gibson Les Paul with a red finish. The guitar had previously been owned by another great guitarist in Rick Derringer, who sold the instrument after being disappointed with the paint job he had done on it. Clapton would never use the instrument much so he gifted it to George Harrison in 1968. Harrison named the guitar “Lucy”. Harrison grew fed up with his Beatles bandmates  and decided to bring Clapton in to fill the parts on “While My Guitar Gently Weeps”. The decision was so spur of the moment that Clapton didn’t even arrive with a guitar. So Harrison gave him “Lucy” to use for the recording and Clapton cut his parts, including the signature solo, in just one take.

 

Great Songs From Not So Great Bands.

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There are lots of good bands out there, the following groups are not among them. Yet, somehow, they pulled it together for at least one song. Allow me to apologize beforehand if one of your favorite groups makes it one here. Maybe listen to some better music.

Nickelback – “How You Remind me”

When I was four or five years old my mother bought me a CD player and two CD’s to go with it. The first was “The Marshall Mathers LP” , totally age appropriate, and the second was “Silver Side Up” by Nickelback. My mom insists the latter was definitely my favorite of the two. Either my tastes changed or Nickelback just got worse because I cannot stand the group. They look like a bunch of dads who got the band back together to play at the fair on short notice. Somehow, Nickelback has sold over 50 million albums singing about girls at parties, drinking, fighting, and the occasional love song that I can’t take seriously. “Rockstar”, “ Photograph”, and “This Means War” get my nod for some of their very worst work. “How You Remind Me”, off of that very album I received as kid, definitely does not suck. It’s a straightforward, guitar- driven song about relationships that stands out to me today because I can hear the grunge influence, which makes sense given the song was released in 2001.

Bryan Adams – “ Run To You”

Yeah I get it, technically a solo act, but Bryan Adams isn’t that great. I’m sure saying that in Vancouver is sacrilegious on some level but the truth is that if you grew up here, even in the past 15 years, you heard enough of him on the radio. I get it, stations need to play a certain amount of Canadian content and Brian fits the bill: massively successful and Vancouver born and raised. Do we really need to hear “Summer Of 69”, “Cuts Like A Knife”, or “One Night Love Affair” five times a day each?! His music is so simple and so repetitive. Some three or four chord progression, trash lead-guitar playing, complete with corny lyrics. “Run to You” is the one song I don’t mind hearing. Heck, I will go out of my way to listen to it. How about that. It’s just a tad slicker than his other efforts and that guitar riff is cool as hell. Yeah, the words are no less corny but this one hits different.

Genesis – “Firth of Fifth”

Genesis has a handful of great songs because once upon a time, before they became the Phil Collins show in the 1980s, they specialized in the type of music that doesn’t make it on the radio. The songs were long, the influences wide (classical, jazz, blues), and the instrumental sections technical and pretentious.

Phil Collins was just the drummer at this point (a very good one mind you), and Peter Gabriel was the enigmatic frontman. “Firth of Fifth” begins with a drawn out classical-like piano intro before transitioning into what is one an early example of progressive-rock. A flute solo, synth solo, then guitar solo soon follow to make for one indulgent but awesome song. This is not driving music but it is great music.

 

Earls Vs. Cactus Club: Five Rounds For B.C. Dominance.

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For all the good food there is in this province, and there is a lot, the hospitality scene of B.C., specifically “”casual fine-dining”,” is still dominated by everyone’s two favorite safe choices: Earls and Cactus Club. Finding myself inspired by the recent annexation of Cactus Club by Earls, I decided to put these two heavyweights against each other for a five-round bout to see how they compare across different metrics. Having worked for both chains at one point over the last seven years, I feel obliged to preface this by saying I had a great time working for both. I grew up, quite literally, working for these two companies. They both treated me like absolute gold, were flexible for hours when I was in school, and taught me skills that will be with me wherever I go. But… today, there is only one winner. These opinions are all my own, so don’t come at me if your pick didn’t get the nod.

R.D. # 1 Food 

So we kick things off with the most prominent and seemingly important point of contention. After all, if the food sucks, would you even go? Yeah ….you probably would. The similarities need to be mentioned before we talk about who does it better. Before Earls assumed full ownership, they held a stake in Cactus Club for years. As such, it shouldn’t surprise you that the offerings are pretty similar. We got the mainstays: burgers, sandwiches, salads (with more calories than the burgers), steaks (not the place to order them), and some reliable deserts. Earls has the bacon-cheddar burger, while Cactus has the cheddar-bacon burger. Earls has the Santa Fe Salad, and Cactus has the Bandara Salad. Earls has the Sticky-Toffee Chocolate Pudding, and Cactus has the Chocolate Lava Cake. Earls has the Cajun Chicken Cheddar Sandwich, while Cactus has the Cajun Chicken Sandwich.

Get the idea? For this round, I am assuming that price is of no concern. I would say this if you put both in front of me and just told me to choose. Unfortunately for Earls, this will cost them the round because everything they do, Cactus does better. I think the separation comes down to the appetizers. Those Szechuan Chicken Lettuce Wraps are lethal, alongside other Cactus appetizers such as the Tuna Stack, Ravioli Prawn Trio, and Mini Burgers: Earls lacks the firepower and quality at times to keep up. This round isn’t a total wash, but it isn’t particularly close either.

10-9 Cactus 

 

R.D. # 2 Drinks 

Your food can suck, or your drinks can suck.. but not both. Fortunately, both Earls and Cactus Club have good drinks. There is a fair selection of wines (a good amount of them from B.C.), beers on tap, and an impressive cocktail list. The strength of both chains, when it comes to booze, is in their cocktails. They have strong “”anchor”” cocktails and always introduce seasonal drinks alongside other new creations. This is the one area where both brands never fall flat in terms of inspiration. There is a lot of thought put into this side of the restaurant, and apart from just not liking the particular cocktail flavor, I have never had a poorly made drink from either restaurant. I hate draws, but honestly, look at the menu yourself, and I don’t think you will blame me here. Cactus leads 20-19, heading into the third.

 

10-10 

 

R.D. # 3 Value 

Prices are similar, very similar. While everything has gotten more expensive and the portions smaller, Earls and Cactus are still neck in neck. The Earls Cajun Chicken Cheddar Sandwich is 19.75, and the Cajun Chicken Sandwich from Cactus is 19.25. The Bacon Cheddar Burger from Earls is 21.75, and the Cheddar Bacon Burger from Cactus is 21. This theme is consistent as we compare their similar menu items. The prices are too similar, so that means the value, and therefore this round, will be decided by the food quality. Cactus won that round comfortably, and they do it again here. Earls has work to do now, down 30-28 heading into the fourth.

 

10-9 Cactus 

 

R.D. # 4 Consistency 

Many Earls locations are franchises. This is their strength when it comes to community recognition and personality, but here, at least from my experience, it is their undoing. Without naming locations, too often with Earls, you don’t know what you’re going to get. Everything on time, attentive service, high-quality food or long wait times, mistakes, and your table are totally neglected. Cactus can have consistency issues but not nearly as often from my dining experience. So Cactus takes yet another round to lead 40-37, heading into the fifth. If Earls is going to take this, they will need a finish.

 

10- 9 Cactus 

 

R.D. # 5 Atmosphere, Personality, and X-Factor

This is where I need to remind you that these are just my opinions. I have always said that if eating out were just about the food, I wouldn’t eat out nearly as often as I do. Personality counts a lot with me regarding people, music, sports, and especially restaurants. How does everything come together to create an identity that is unique, personal, and just plain cool? This is where the other factors come to play. Locations, building design, music, lighting, layout, even the furniture, and tables. “”Cool”” is a stupid word, but I am going to use it here anyway. I take “”Cool”” to mean confident and committed to the things that make you unique. Cactus Club is just not cool. It is too clean cut. Most locations look the same: dim lights, square booths, too dark, too uniform, too sterile. Cactus Club’s advantages in the food, consistency, and value are not enough for me to overlook this. It feels like Cactus is masquerading as a more refined restaurant than they are. They are a good restaurant, as is Earls, but they are not a great one. Not once have I been to a Cactus Club and admired the design as unique or reflective of the community in which it operates.

Earls, on the other hand, has style. The food may not quite be on par, there are plenty of inconsistencies, but each location is unique! Earls Ambleside looks very different than Earls Grandview Corners which in turn looks very different from Earls Station Square. These buildings, inside and out, have a personality that is unique to their community but loyal to the brand. Can you say the same about Cactus Club in Coquitlam, North Burnaby, or Byrne Road? No, you can’t. I think Earls embracing a less uniform approach makes it easier for the communities they operate in to embrace them. In my mind, this is why Earls has had success in U.S. markets as well ( including Boston, Colorado, Chicago, and Orlando), something Cactus cannot boast. Bring back the paper mache cows Cactus! So Earls rallies late, and the ref (I guess that that’s me?) stops the action after seeing enough. Is this a case of one side winning until they weren’t? Possible, but I’ll let you decide that one.

Official Result: Earls defeats Cactus Club by TKO in the 5th round.