If you haven’t been ghosted, consider yourself lucky. But I mean we’ve all been there at one point or another right? Maybe even a job. You send in your resume, you get the interview, you do the interview, andddd you never hear back. You got ghosted. How about a great first date. You think it goes well, you guys plan to go on another, you text a bit and then one day, no response. You got ghosted. It stings, and it’s a universal experience you’re more than likely to go through at one point or another. 

It’s an odd feeling. Whether you were close to this person or not, being cut off without an explanation can leave you with so many unanswered questions. Not getting closure makes it basically impossible to move on, afterall, getting that closure, those last few words for understanding is what helps you heal. So not getting that makes healing a whole new game. Usually, it’s for the best, if they didn’t even have time to write you a quick text (at the bare bottom minimum) then good riddance to them, time to move on. But if it’s someone you really valued as a person and maybe even intended for whatever that relationship was to carry on way into the future, then ouch, ya it stings. 

Ghosting has really taken off in this digital age. I mean it makes sense, there’s so many platforms out there and with people hiding behind the screen they just think it’s easier to break things off by literally just breaking the conversation. In highschool, SnapChat was the biggest culprit. To be honest and real there were many times in highschool I got ghosted, most of them I didn’t even care or think twice, but some, wow you would’ve thought I was engaged to them, I was a full blown mess. But rightfully so, I mean it sucks to have a connection with someone (or so you think) and then just be thrown off a cliff the next day. At a young age too, when your brain is not at all developed it leaves you with that “well why wasn’t I good enough” feeling when in reality, that person just sucks and doesn’t have the courage to write a simple text. Good riddance. It’s the ultimate disappearing act. Ghosters should just go to the circus and do an act with a magician where they disappear right off stage and are never seen again (probably the only thing they’d be good at ever too).  If you’re on a dating app then I’m sure you know the struggle. You think you and this person could make it off the app into real life, the banter is great, the conversations are deep and thennnn they vanish into thin air. 

Being ghosted is like riding an emotional roller coaster that you didn’t sign up for. One minute, you’re feeling on top of the world, texting back and forth, planning your next hangout, and getting excited for all these future possibilities you’re building up in your head. The next minute, you’re staring at your phone, wondering if you’ve said something that sent them running. It’s a feeling of denial. You’ll probably check your phone a million times, grabbing your phone at every single buzz, ding, and ring, hoping you got it all wrong, and maybe they just got hold up at work. You go to bed, then wake up and realize, oh, this is happening. 

Once reality sets in and you come to the terms that wow, this person really did ghost me, you will probably feel angry and frustrated. How did you let this person who is wayyyy out of your league do this? Then you’ll start asking yourself questions. “How did I let this happen to me?” “Was I not interesting enough?” and of course the common one “how could they just disappear?”. It’s a confusing time, you thought this person could’ve been end game (probably just a second date) and now poof, just like that, gone. 

Then you’ll bargain. You’re trying to figure out ways to fix it. Maybe they’re busy, right? You start drafting follow-up messages, trying to write out the perfect text that won’t seem too desperate but will still get them to respond. You’ll convince yourself that one more message will do the trick. Or maybe their birthday is just around the corner so you wait for their birthday, send them a text and wait. The harsh reality is that they probably won’t respond. I mean the hardest part they had to do is already done already, they ripped their band aid off by stopping the conversations, why would they put themselves through that again. But who knows, maybe they are in a good mood, feeling friendly, you get a response back! This is everything you wanted right? Maybe you guys will banter back and forth for a bit and then shocker, if they did it once, they can do it again. I hate to say it but you did this to yourself my friend. Now you just have to start the healing cycle from the beginning, so maybe next time, leave the happy birthday text out of the equation. 

Being ghosted is never fun, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s tempting to send a “Why did you ghost me?” message, but it’s usually not worth your time. Why would you give someone your precious time when they didn’t even have the human decency to give you literally 1 minute of theirs? I promise after sometime you’ll come to terms with it. The feelings will come and go. After some time and a little self-reflection, you’ll realize you’re better off now. You realize that their silence isn’t your fault, and sometimes people just aren’t as invested as you are. At this point, you can either move on or just laugh about it because, honestly, it’s kind of funny at the end of this, this person was that immature they couldn’t just pick up the phone and type out a simple sentence, so I said it once and I’ll say it again, good riddance!