I’m pretty sure everyone below the age of 35 and single has at least downloaded a dating app before, out of curiosity or desperation. But rather than helping the dating culture, it seems to do the opposite. As someone who has been on the apps before, there are plenty of reasons I can explain.

First off, we pass on more superficial judgments. You can swipe yes or no to every profile within seconds. Why waste your yeses on below-average-looking people and spend them on those we think are above the standards? Since some “likes” are limited if you’re using the free version. In an instant, I could face rejection by hundreds of people simply because I don’t meet their requirements of physical looks while simultaneously rejecting hundreds of others. That’s so heartless.

So some people make false impressions, like skinnier or taller than they are. Filters and camera angles can make a person look different. And this is coming from experience. I got catfished by a girl who was different than she was on screen – wider, with blue hair, etc. But looking back, the reason she probably did that was to be accepted, because it seemed not many liked how she looked in real life.

What’s the worst thing that can happen in a relationship, which is worse than a breakup? Ghosting. It’s a terrible feeling, which is kind of sad because this is ALSO coming from another experience. I met this cute girl online, decided to meet up and had a terrible first date. But I asked for a second one, and that one made us forget about the first. We met a couple of times, and she was interested in me until she dipped. No warning. I felt like I wasted time and felt used. It’s sad because it happens a lot to those who meet online, zero disregard for feelings.

Lastly, dating apps create less social interaction. Everything is just texting and maybe meeting in real life, but that’s like after a couple of people you talked with and disconnected with. And most people who meet tend to meet to use each other’s body. With the apps, you don’t need to seek someone outside. So, the search for genuine connections offline becomes less for those who use these apps.

So do dating apps ruin the dating culture? I would’ve said no if it weren’t for the shallow judgments, the lack of empathy, and for creating an environment where offline doesn’t matter. So yes.