You’ve probably seen that person at a wedding or a funeral before. They probably wore light-wash blue jeans, a white polo, and black square-toe shoes. That person did not read the dress code for the event. Their family is entirely embarrassed to be around that person while everyone else judges them. If only that person followed the dress code, you think to yourself.
Your first experience with getting dress-coded was probably during school. There was that one person wearing something highly inappropriate such as a hat. There isn’t a good reason why hats (not including religious headwear) aren’t allowed in schools. The big reason that people give is that they want to be able to tell right away if someone is dangerous. If that’s truly the case, then intruders would just not wear hats in the school. You’ve probably always wanted to wear a hat in school but because of the dress code, you weren’t allowed to. These rules technically only count in the actual school building, more specifically the hallways. If the teacher allows hats in their classroom, that’s completely fine. I once had a class during elementary school that allowed hats only because we were in a portable. That was helpful since it can get cold in there at times. Women’s clothing was a completely different story. They couldn’t wear stuff like mini skirts or anything that was “revealing” (which was usually stuff like shoulders). The schools’ reason for this is that “boys will be distracted.” That is 100% not the girls’ responsibility to make sure boys aren’t distracted. That’s up to boys to learn on their own or to be taught by their parents. What a girl wears is never a reason for boys to be distracted.
(Rondo Estrello / Flickr)
My grandma once told me about how my dad didn’t want to dress up for his high school graduation. He wanted to wear a t-shirt and basketball shorts to it and she had to tell him no. I can’t blame my dad for it. High school graduations are notoriously long and the last thing you want to be during it is uncomfortable. My dad has always been known as someone who doesn’t follow the dress code. He would wear a t-shirt and jean shorts to church while not highly inappropriate, could be a lot better. This screwed my grandma and me over one time when she wanted to visit a chapel. My dad brought us along with both of us dressing nicely. We learned right after that we were also doing a walk around Granville Island while we were dressed in our nicest clothing in the hot weather. When I told my dad that he should’ve made that clear, he said “Just look what I’m wearing,” and it was exactly what he wears to church.
(Robert Sheie / Flickr)
My family also has weird standards about formality. They always thought that jeans were formal because they had belt loops. I only learned later on that belts are actually not as formal as I thought they were. The only reason why belts were introduced in more business attire was that making pants with a lower rise was cheaper to make and adding belt loops were a solution to suspenders not being long enough.
As someone who did music during high school, there was a dress code for our concerts. You had to wear a black dress shirt, black dress pants, black dress socks, and black dress shoes. You could technically get away with wearing black jeans as long as they didn’t obviously look like jeans. You could even get away with all black sneakers as long as they were in the more converse style. The least formal piece of footwear you could safely get away with were boots, which was what my section sore at almost every concert. You could get away with wearing a white shirt but only if you’re also wearing a black suit jacket. Tie colour was the only thing they never cracked down on. One of my friends did forget to bring black dress pants on a trip one time. He improvised by buying black duct tape and taping over the white stripes on his black Adidas pants. Thankfully he was able to get away with it since he wasn’t sitting on the very end. Black dress clothing can be painful to wear during the hot weather sometimes. One of my friends had to take her shoes off one time while running through Whistler village one time because they started to hurt.
(Gregg Tavares / Flickr)
Weddings are easily the biggest place for dress codes. The last wedding I went to kind of had a dress code or rather just expectations. My family did wear formal clothing such as suits and dresses. However, we did see a few people wear polo shirts which are not formal pieces of attire. It wasn’t even hot outside that day and we were inside anyways. You do not have an excuse, in this case, to not show up in formal attire. There’s also the case where you are not allowed to wear a white dress at a wedding because the bride will be wearing one, and you want her the be the woman to have the most attention at a wedding, not you.
The chances of you needing stuff for black-tie or white-tie events are insanely low unless you are a person of a higher class. That’s why “formal attire”, can be intimidating because people think you need expensive clothing. Realistically, all you need is a dress shirt, dress pants, and dress shoes. As long as you stick to formal colours, you can’t go wrong with what you’re wearing.
Dress codes will always exist. They’re not there to force you to wear what everyone else is wearing, but rather to make sure it’s appropriate. Having punishments for not following them is pretty harsh, however. While it’s clear that person is wearing something that’s not appropriate, they shouldn’t be crucified for it. As long as you’re wearing clothes, that should be good enough.