It is hard for me to believe that we are already 3 months into the 2022. It feels more like the third chapter or a second encore of 2020 than it does a new year. With more time stuck at home, like all of us, I used the time to try to better understand what I’ve learned this far and the series of decisions that have got me to this point. I feel more capable of introspection, productive self-analysis, and empathy than every before. My humility has grown immensely and with it a desire to be a more deliberate, intentional, and passionate human being moving forward. I don’t want to learn any more lessons the hard way, something I had a knack for prior to that first lockdown in the Spring of 2020. For my own sake, I am not going to tell you how I learnt these lessons but the truth is, how we learn things (even if through making mistakes) is less important than the fact that we learned them at all. The past can’t be undone but the future can be a lot better if you apply what you learn.

Trust Your Parents

I can’t tell you how long it took me to finally feel comfortable opening up and having clearer lines of communication with my parents. They were, and are, nothing but supportive, loving, and providing of every opportunity me or my siblings have ever wanted or needed. Yet, whether it was a baseless fear of punishment or not wanting to disappoint them, for most of my life; I never turned to my parents for help when I really needed it. I could be in trouble, in search of advice, or needing to get something of my chest; I just couldn’t do it. Our parents love us and they have been through many of the same things that we are currently experiencing or will in the future. My parents specifically just wanted us to be happy above all else. It took me a long time to realize this but once I did my relationship with them was more genuine. I have made a lot of mistakes but no matter what bombshell or mishap I came into, my parents never stopped believing in me.

Don’t Say Stupid Shit

My step-father used to say this all the time to us growing up. It’s a simple message but its importance and resonance with me has grown over time. My step-father didn’t mean that you shouldn’t be silly or make jokes. He was telling us to careful when speaking in extremes to avoid bullshiting, and to not over speak. There are few things in life that warrant us talking about them as arrogantly as many of us (myself included) do sometimes. If you don’t know anything about what’s being discussed, you don’t have to pretend to. You might fool some people but you will always look foolish when someone, who knows what their talking about, picks up on it.

Be Honest With Yourself

 That little voice in your head (your “gut” instinct) is usually right about things. Don’t ignore it in pursuit of what you think others want you to do or what is going to “validate” you in their eyes. It is your life, and you need to choose the path that is going to fulfill you. Such a simple truth but it took me a long time to understand it.

Pay It Forward

Another one of my step-fathers favorites. You owe it to the world to put back the same  time and opportunities that were allotted to you. Maybe not right away, but somewhere along the line when you have the means to do so.