For many students out there, April marks the beginning of an end. Whether it’s your fourth year of college or finishing up your diploma, for many students out there, the time of being a student is coming to an end. And while it is so exciting it can definitely be scary. Those years of studying, testing, exams are all over, but now it honestly might just get harder. So welcome to post-grad life. It’s weird. No one prepares you for this part. 

One of the most under looked side effects of graduating is the existential identity crisis that follows. Remember when you were graduating high school and you had to make all those decisions about what to do next. Yea. It’s like that but worse because this time around you’re a literal adult with a degree, there’s not as much of a safety net to fall back on, you’re out there in the world in survival mode. Who are you without due dates? Without late-night group projects and 2 a.m. library breakdowns? Without the structure of school to give your life shape? For the first time in your life, no one is telling you what’s next. There’s no syllabus for adulthood. No one’s handing out gold stars for doing the dishes or replying to your emails on time. 

Then will come the most dreaded part, the job hunt, which in itself is a full time job. You spend hours crafting the perfect resume. You write cover letters that are practically love poems to companies you’re not even sure you like. You apply to 50 positions a week and maybe  – maybe – get one reply. It’s honestly exhausting and half of the jobs that I see require at least 2 years of experience. Like how are we supposed to get work experience to get a job if we can’t even get a job without work experience? And even if you shoot for something low the requirements are still insane. 

Here’s a hot take: the first year of graduation can almost be like a gap year in disguise for some. You think you’re going to hit the ground running, but really, you spend a lot of it… wandering.Maybe you take a retail job to pay the bills. Maybe you start a side hustle. Maybe you go back to school because “why not?” is your current life motto. Maybe you move back home and feel both comforted and completely defeated every time your parents ask, “So, any updates?” The year after can be even more confusing than your college assignments. It’s all uncharted waters and nobody really has the right answer. It can be especially tough if you’re going from living on your own to moving back in at home. It almost feels like a step backward. Again, this is all such a confusing time. But although it is super confusing, it’s also where the real learning happens.  You find out what you don’t want. You figure out your values. You make mistakes and you push past them. Slowly but surely, you start building a life that isn’t defined by a class schedule or GPA.

But graduating school and transitioning into real adulthood can be difficult. Let’s talk about money, or more specifically the complete and total lack of it. You thought being a broke student was rough? Try being a broke adult. Now your bank account is low and it’s time to start thinking about those student loans. If you hadn’t realized how expensive everything already is then you may start paying closer attention now. The cost of living is ridiculous! And that Friday ice cream treat you used to treat yourself with for getting through the week might just be a distant memory. 

One of the hardest parts of post-grad life is realizing that not all friendships are built for the long haul. When you’re in school, your social life is effortless. You’re surrounded by people all the time. You bump into friends on campus. You make last-minute plans. You exist in the same bubble. After graduation? That bubble pops. People move away. They get jobs. They get busy. Some friendships fade, and it feels weird, like a slow breakup without closure. But that being said, new friendships form too. Maybe you’ll meet a new work bestie that you will become totally inseparable from And the ones that survive this transition? You know those friends are real keepers. I think once you get older you start valuing the quality over the quantity. You learn who checks in without a reason. Who listens to your voice notes when you’re spiraling. Who shows up even when it’s inconvenient. 

I also think that post-grad is the peak comparison season. Everyone wants to show off what they are doing and what they have accomplished and it can be nice to be catching up with people and seeing what they are up to, it can be really hard to compare. Wow, that person is going to med school? She’s a lawyer now? Yup, these are all real statements, and in the mix of all of that you will see people starting off at brand new fancy jobs and some people travelling Europe. It’s important not to compare, even though it really is just right in your face. 

A main worry I hear a lot is people worrying that they chose the wrong thing to study. Maybe they don’t like it anymore, or the job market is rough, or they have new interests, whatever it may, looking back and wishing that you did things differently is an awful feeling and unfortunately a feeling I know all too well. But here’s the thing, that’s not a bad thing, that’s just growth. You might discover that your “dream job” isn’t so dreamy. Or that the thing you studied doesn’t light you up anymore. You might pivot. You might experiment. You might fall flat and start again. That’s not being lost—that’s being curious. Your 20s are for trying things. Don’t let the fear of looking flaky stop you from exploring. Your path doesn’t have to be linear to be valid. Your career and study path that you chose at 18 does not have to be the one that you stick with for life, there is so much out there! Don’t stress out too much. 

Post-grad life isn’t easy. It’s messy and weird and awkward and full of days where you just want to scream into a void. But it’s also just a transition period, not a forever period. Soon the time will come where you’ve settled into a routine and look back on this time and realize that you really had no reason to stress out. It’s the first time in your life that you get to fully own your choices. It’s exciting! You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. In fact, most people don’t. They’re just pretending really, really well.