If you’ve ever found yourself three hours deep into a Netflix documentary about a serial killer you’d never heard of before, or if you’ve lost sleep because you needed to hear just one more episode of a true crime podcast, congratulations, you’re just like, you have an obsession for true crime and mystery. I love true crime. I get so enthralled with it. Books, articles, TV shows, documentaries, podcasts, you name it, I’m hooked. A few of my friends like it as much as me but some of them think our obsession is just creepy. I mean I totally get it, a lot of things that have happened to these people are devastating and I see a lot of the controversy about viewing true crime as entertainment which I completely understand,  I don’t view it as entertainment, I just think in another life I was meant to be a detective. I love trying to solve everything and piece it together in my own little ways. But why? Why is this something you and I enjoy? I mean it’s definitely not a light watch before you go to sleep on Sunday night. But time and time again, I keep coming back to it, and when a new show drops on Netflix, I will stop whatever I’m watching to get into the series. 

If you like the thrill of mystery, then this certainly brings you that. There’s a mystery, a villain, a victim, and often, a sense of justice (or injustice) that keeps you hooked. You want to see it through to the end, even if it is bone chilling and hard to watch at times. Humans are pretty much natural problem solvers. We like to figure things out for ourselves, solving patterns, connecting the dots. And true crime is just what brings us that satisfaction. My friends and I say  it almost feels like an escape. Everyday life gets stressful but having something that we can just tune out to and fully immerse ourselves is a good distraction. And trust me I know it does sound weird and no we don’t enjoy what happened to these people, it’s more just the whole process of uncovering the mystery. 

It’s weird because sometimes it’s definitely unpleasant and you want to turn away but you’re just so hooked you can’t. It’s the same reason you slow down when they see a car accident. You don’t want bad things to happen, but when they do, you feel as if you need to understand them and get the whole picture. I was watching a series with my friends last weekend and they actually told me there is a science behind this all that psychologists call morbid curiosity. My friend is a psych major so I always feel like she really gets into and sometimes maybe over analyzes everything but she really got me with this morbid curiosity thing. It’s kinda just a feeling of a mix of excitement, fear, and of course curiosity. You may find it scary but you just want to stay involved and keep learning more. 

At the back of your mind you know you’re safe too. You may be watching something terrifying but at the end of the day you’re probably in the safety of your own home (double maybe even triple checking that you locked the doors). It’s like you’re hearing the worst of the worst but at the end of the day you know you’re safe. It’s a weird feeling. But even then, when I’m watching it with a group of my friends feeling safe in my own home, for days after I’m sometimes left with feelings of anxiety and that’s when I know it’s probably time for a break. About a year ago I watched this series about a guy who would hide under girls cars and at night when they would go to get into their car he’d jump out from underneath, I’ll save you the rest of the details but from the time I watched that to now, every single time I get into my car those thoughts always come across in my brain. Let’s just say I definitely did take a needed break from true crime after I watched that one. Although sometimes it does leave me feeling freaked out and even more anxious then before I’ve kinda agreed with a few of my friends that sometimes it makes us feel more safe and a bit more prepared. I mean when you watch these sort of things go down in the back of your mind your going to always think “that would never happen to me” but there are some crazy people out there and it never hurts to be prepared, now I kinda feel a bit more prepared if I ever have a situation come up like that (knocking on wood). I’ve listened to a podcast about a girl who was being stalked and followed in her car and she instead of driving home she drove right to the police station, called them, and waited in that parking lot until she was safe to go into the station. I feel like in the moment the reaction is to just go right home because home is known as your safe space but that girl did the right thing by driving to the police station and her life could’ve been saved by just that simple act. 

Even though I’m a true crime fan and I can’t get enough of the thrill and mystery I have a couple issues with. Not all true crime content is created equally. Some cases are handled with sensitivity and care, while others feel exploitative, turning real-life tragedy that people’s families had to go through just into some sort of entertainment and profit. And this is my dilemma with it. Before I watch something I usually try to do a bit of research, if the family is involved in some sort of interview or in the show, then to me that gives it a green light to be watched because maybe the family wants some more awareness to the situation but it seems like the family is against it, then I’ll stay away from it. There’s also the issue of desensitization. If you consume too much true crime, you might start to feel numb to it. That’s when it stops being about learning and starts becoming a background noise of horror, which isn’t exactly ideal for mental health. To be honest I used to binge watch series with my friends in one night but we’ve kinda learned to take a step back from that. We just kinda came to the realization that maybe this is affecting us more than we know and if we are being left anxious and scared it would be better for us to leave the show unwatched and mystery unsolved then carry those feelings with us into the next day. 

So what do you think about true crime? It is something you steer clear from or something that you just need to be unfolded. I’m learning as I grow up. I’m getting to be more in the middle about it all but the key is definitely  balance when it comes to this stuff!