Well it’s day 23 of dry January and this has been the hardest day yet by far.

Maybe it’s the school stress getting to me, maybe it’s seeing all my friends out and about having, or maybe just hearing everyone get excited for their Friday plans. But whatever this is, this feeling sucks. Right now all I want is an icy cold beer in my hand. That’s it. Nice and simple. But no, I made a promise to myself and I’m seeing it through.

I’m honestly kinda confused why I’m having these feelings and cravings today. I thought I’d be long over that hump by now but I guess it’s different for everyone. And it’s not like it was a bad week or anything, it was a good one. I felt a positive vibe all week and was honestly loving this lifestyle I’ve created for myself over the last month but a switch flipped today and I’m not having this anymore.

At the start of the week I was even talking to my friends how I thought if I really wanted to I could continue this dry streak into February and if not dry then damp. Life is about balance and moderation anyway so maybe limit it down to a couple times a month. But those ideas I had at the start of the week are certainly not what I’m feeling now,

I’m agitated, irritated, and frustrated. And all I want is beer. I guess this feeling of struggle is good. I’ve had it easy so far this month with no real bad cravings like today. All that’s going on in my head right now is just to get through this night remembering this needs to be taken day by day. 

Then I thought maybe I’m overthinking this too much, maybe I just need to chill out. I’m trying, and I’m trying hard but being so close to Friday and not having any plans to look forward to this weekend is just destroying my attitude towards this whole thing. 

For the first time this whole month I made drinking plans with friends to have something to look forward to help me push past these last 9 days. Lucky for me, February lands on a Saturday, Perfect. Or is it? Does drinking the day after kinda just defeat the whole purpose? See, I’m back to overthinking again.

More of my friends also dropped out of dry January and now are running with a “damp” January but my pride will not let me do that. I need to finish so I can know for myself I can do hard things. 

This has been a rollercoaster of a month and I’m nervous for this upcoming weekend. I feel like it’s going to be a struggle to get through but I’m just going to take it day by day and if that gets hard, hour by hour.