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If you are in your 20s and live outside of your parents’ home, I have a question for you; do you ever feel like a baby bird that’s been pushed (or shoved) out of the nest? Going out in the world and living on your own is a big step in the arduous quest for independence. Everyone experiences “leaving the nest” at different ages and stages in life—for some it’s easy, and for some it’s not. In North America, there is a particular pressure placed on the youth to move out as soon as possible. I grew up in the states, and I had a friend in high school who was obligated by her parents to be fully moved out and independent as soon as she turned 18. That always seemed to be a bit intense to me, but people from different cultural backgrounds will place different amounts of emphasis on this kind of thing. I feel like at 18, you’re hardly an adult. I can’t speak for everyone else, but when I was 18, I was kind of an idiot–there’s no way I would’ve been capable of living on my own at that stage of my life. With how the current housing market stands, I would say that it is becoming increasingly difficult for young adults to just move out. Even renting a place these days is tough and expensive, and a lot of the time the most cost-effective situation is to stay with your parents. I feel like the ideal scenario would be to work and save up enough money to move out at around 25, but unfortunately that’s not really in the realm of what’s considered acceptable, at least in western society.

My parents weren’t as harsh, but they did want me out of the house and on my own after high school. Covid kind of threw a massive wrench in those plans, but when I was 19, I left home to live in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia. I had always considered myself a pretty self-sufficient, independent person, but living on my own for the first time definitely proved me wrong. I’ve been on my own for the last two years, and I can confidently say that it is still hard. I still struggle with cooking for myself, and being away from family can get pretty lonely. Sometimes it can feel like you’re just pretending to be an adult. Everyone else seems to have everything figured out, but there you are, trying to come up with the best way to cut a carrot into strips without slicing a chunk of your finger off. Don’t worry–the vast majority of young adults genuinely have no clue what they’re doing, where they’re going, or what’s going on. The ones that look like they do are either faking it or are just insane. 

Finally being on your own is a strange feeling. Living at home comes with that growing feeling of wanting to be independent, but as soon as you leave and you find yourself face to face with true, unrestricted freedom, it’s hard to feel 100% comfortable right away. All of sudden you have to worry about food, bills, rent, utilities, possibly tuition, and every other expense. The worst part? You’re most likely all alone. OK, maybe not entirely alone…but despite roommates, friends, partners, and everyone else, you’re still expected to be self-reliant. I live completely across the country from all of my relatives and immediate family, so sometimes I do feel the consequences of isolation. Having a solid group or network of friends is pretty crucial to maintaining your well-being while on your own, at least in my experience. I used to view myself as being a really introverted loner who was just fine with being alone, but as soon as I moved out, I realised just how much I actually value human contact. Living with roommates is also quite the first-time experience. I moved into my first apartment with one of my friends, and while we worked well together as friends, actually having to live together and be roommates was an entirely different story. You quickly realise when someone’s lifestyle and habits don’t exactly align with your own, and this more often than not will cause conflict and strife. I live in BCIT residence now with eleven other people, but everyone has been cool so far and there haven’t been any issues. My golden tip for living with people is that if you’re planning to move in with friends, make sure you’re aware of their living habits FIRST before making any concrete decisions. Trust me, you don’t want to lose a good friendship by being bad roommates with someone. 

As scary and daunting as it may seem, moving out is a simple fact of life that most of us will have to contend with at some point in our lives. And if you still live at home, consider yourself LUCKY, enjoy the time spent at home and save money!