Names these days are pretty weird. You don’t want to have a name that will get laughed at, but you also don’t want to share a name. However, some of these “unique” names should just not exist, and some names are just way too common.

Weird spellings of names should not exist. There’s a variation of my name with an H at the end. It’s not popular, but it does exist. I don’t know why anyone would choose that one over not having the H in the end. The normal spelling has fewer letters and also doesn’t look ridiculous. There’s also a spelling of the name Jackson spelt “Jaxon.” Whoever names their children this tells me they want their kid to be a kid forever, rather than grow up. While you can still shorten this one to Jack, people may be inclined to refer to the person by their full name because of how it’s spelt. Then there’s using -eigh. White moms from Utah will usually use this as the -ee sound in names, such as Ashleigh, Hayleigh, Mackenseigh, and Kimberleigh. There’s also putting Ys where Is or Os should be, such as in Jaxyn (just to give you a combo), Madyson, Kendyll, and other names that were good before but were made weird just to “stand out.” The

While normal names still exist, some of them are way too old-timey and shouldn’t be given in this day and age. The names Muriel, Murray, and Warren just scream “old person,” rather than someone young that will grow up. Even nicknames like Bob aren’t common anymore because of this.

(Steven Miller / Flickr)

But then, there are “unique” names. I once knew a few people with royal positions as their names. I feel like their parents wanted them to feel like royalty but it just sounds ridiculous when you actually say the names out loud. Then you have names that are just plain stupid. Most of these names are common with white moms in Utah wanting to name their child. Examples include Braxton, Maylee, Nayvie, and other things that sound pretty dumb. Some of these names would work better as middle names since you don’t have to use them often. My middle name is Godwin and while I think it’s a little tacky, at least I don’t have to use it often, just when I need to fill out legal documents. As given names, they just don’t work out the way you would want them to.

The worst contenders of them all are parents that name their children after fictional characters. You may have seen the picture where the guy holds up a sign stating “My wife said if I get one million likes, I can name our son Goku.” Apparently, it got one million likes and he got to name his child Goku Sanchez. There was also an abundance of parents that named their daughters Khaleesi, like the character from A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones. I can get why they would name their daughter this. The name roughly translates to “queen” which makes sense. However, because of the direction the character went, people now laugh at anyone with that name and people might regret it. A runner-up is naming kids after other nouns, such as Scissors, Coffee, and Cocoa.

Would you really name a child after this?

(Leonid Mamchenkov / Flickr)

The main issue with these names is how much they stay as baby or pet names. The difference between human babies and pets is that human babies will grow up to be human adults that have to be taken seriously. No one in their life wants to be named Khaleesi, Goku, Mackinleigh, or some other ridiculous name. I even used to hate the life out of my middle name before finally accepting it. Imagine going to a business meeting, and the person introduces themself as “Goku Sanchez.” You would think they were joking but then you realize it was serious. The name is the only thing you can think of during the entire meeting, and that person felt like they weren’t taken seriously. They were seen as a child, rather than an adult.

Unfortunately, naming someone with an extremely common name also has its faults. Look at my name for example. There are a million Joshua Sanchezes out there so the possibility of finding my social media accounts based on my name alone is pretty hard. There were times at church when the name Joshua would appear I would try to hide so my siblings didn’t make jokes about it. I even once had a class with two more Joshes. I also once had a class with another Josh whose last name started with an S. Our teacher had to tell us to put our full last names because of this. Despite that, the TA in our class still somehow gave me the wrong paper even though our last names were spelt out. I already knew them which meant I knew when my name was going to get called. The girl next to me was astonished at the fact that I have grown accustomed to sharing a name. Having three people with the same name in the same class was a lot more common than you think. It made things even more interesting when at least two of them are in the same clique. We somehow never mixed up any of them. Sometimes we wouldn’t even say a last name and the one we are referring to would respond. Although these names aren’t unique in the slightest, at least you’ll be taken seriously. Say all you want about conformity but these names at least have some meaning. The parents still made considerations as to how they want their child represented and the meaning behind a name changes a lot. 

(David Staedtler / Flickr)

Names are something you need. If you didn’t have a name, no one would know how to talk about you without sounding too mysterious. However, people need to be careful when naming their children. You don’t want something completely ridiculous, however, that doesn’t mean using something extremely basic.