Vancouver is notorious for how crappy it is trying to date here. Or just trying to spark up any new relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic.

In one way I’m actually pretty lucky because I never had to use dating apps to find a romantic partner, but I really could use something like that to find friends.

So, why is the social culture in Vancouver like this?

I think that a big reason why a lot of people have trouble finding friends is because people are just too comfortable in the friend groups they’ve cultivated since high school.

Unlike other cities in Canada and also in the United States, a lot of students around Vancouver stay near home when they go to university and that means a lot of your high school friends end up going to the same post-secondary as you. So you just stay hanging out with the same people.

And it’s totally cool to keep up with your high school friends, but for people like me who kind of drifted away from their old friend groups it can make it harder to find a new one when people aren’t really open to welcoming new friends.

And when you do somehow meet someone who you think is kinda cool, there’s about a 80% chance the fledgling friendship will fail because both of you will keep flaking on plans or make the excuse that you are “really busy right now but maybe we can hang out in a few weeks once all may projects are over” (but you never do).

Another reason that I think this happens, and I really don’t want to be that person, but… cellphones.

We’ve gotten so comfortable interacting with people through text that when it comes to actually hanging out it just feels like too much of an effort. You’re friend lives in Burnaby and you live in Abbotsford and its pouring rain out because it’s November, so you just cancel your plans because it’s just too far to drive.

I mean, you could just call or text your friend and have the same conversation, so what’s the big deal?

Well, it is a big deal. Relying on our phones to satisfy most of our social interaction means that our in-person social skills have suffered. So you end up going out less, and you become more awkward, and you meet less people.

And I’m not immune from all of this either! This is as much a criticism of myself as it is the general community.

So what can we do about it?

Well, I really think the only thing to do is just to suck it up and take some risks. After all, that’s what any good relationship takes.

We’re going to have to get out of our comfort zone and maybe start I don’t know, organizing in person meet-ups?

I think a really great way to do this is through facebook. I actually met my boyfriend this way after finding out that his family hosts a jam night at their house. I was bored and looking for some people to play music with and I came out one night and we met!

I’ve also thought that board game cafes are probably a great place to start for meeting new people. Games are a great way to bond with people because it forces you to work as a team.

What do you think of all this? Do you agree that Vancouvers social culture is lacking something? Or are you happy with the friends you’ve got now?