We’re always told ‘Celebrities are just like us!‘
Yeah sure, they like the Bachelor, Adele, and go grocery shopping, we get it! However, something that divides us from stardom is what we eat.
Celebrities have the most bizarre food habits. I’m not one to get wrapped up in celebrity gossip, but I get a kick out of the strange things celebrities eat. These millionaires can have the best of the best when it comes to food yet Meghan Markle is out here eating Zoodles!
Gwyneth Paltrow
Of course, I have to kick things off with Queen of Goop, the one and only, Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s become quite a figure in the wellness community. She’s got a lot to say about diet, and with 9 cookbooks you’d assume she’s an expert. I’ll let you decide…
In her cookbook It’s All Easy, Paltrow swears by this drink, which is a mix of toasted sesame oil, chopped ginger, coconut sugar and almond milk, calling it the “perfect warming treat for a rainy afternoon.” To me, this sounds like a bad salad dressing you’d get on an “Asian chop salad” at an Applebees.
She has a recipe for “sex bark,” which is a peppermint bark that makes you horny.
“This quick and potent chocolate recipe is perfect for a sweet bite after a romantic dinner. Ho shou wu is an herb tonic used for centuries to enhance youthfulness, reproductive function, and sex drive and Moon Juice’s Sex Dust is an aphrodisiac warming potion promoting enjoyable sex and fertility for both men and women.”
Dumplings out of cabbage leaves, as a low-carb, cleanse-friendly alternative to delicious wheat- or grain-based dough. I don’t know, this one just makes me cringe.
Goop claimed, “you probably have a parasite” and the only way to cure it is to drink nothing but goat’s milk for eight days. I’ve had goat’s milk before, and this sounds like an actual nightmare. You can taste the barn in every sip.
This isn’t the end of it. I’d suggest acquainting yourself with the Goop cult if you want to have a little giggle,
Shailene Woodley
Shailene Woodley is not only a teenage heartthrob, the star of The Fault in our Stars and Divergent is also a self-proclaimed “adventurous” eater. The most unique part of Woodley’s diet isn’t technically food. Say what?
The actress likes to eat clay, on a regular basis.
“So, I’ve discovered that clay is great for you because your body doesn’t absorb it, and it apparently provides a negative charge, so it bonds to negative isotopes. And, this is crazy: it also helps clean heavy metals out of your body.”
I’m not going to knock it till I try it (I’m not going to try it), who knows clay could be the next LA fad stocked at Erewhon and Whole Foods.
@chalk347
Grimes
It’s no surprise that Grimes has an eccentric lifestyle and diet. Most notably, in her Harper’s BAZAAR, Food Diaries: Bite Size interview she went into detail about a dish she calls “sludge”
The recipe calls for:
- Couscous
- “A ton of Vegenaise”
- “A ton of Sriracha”
- Celery
- Tomato
- Steamed spinach
Throw that all together and create, you guessed it, a weird sludge.
I don’t I’d ever make this, but if I really think about it, it’s probably not terrible… it’s kind of like if you replaced the tuna in a tuna salad with couscous? I know for a fact sludge would give me a horrendous tummy ache though so I don’t know. I’m not going to throw hate at Grimes, I appreciate the fact that she doesn’t have the carbon copy LA low-carb Kardashian diet.
Tyra Banks
This one isn’t gross or anything it’s just… very Tyra. Tyra Banks has a very specific and passionate way of preparing a simple bagel and cream cheese.
She gets a plain bagel on days she’s going to be seeing people; an onion bagel if she’s going to be staying at home. Follow closely, each step matters! Then, she wells out the bagel or as the supermodel puts it “Scoop out the all the extra bagelization”
Then she takes whipped. cream. cheese. scoops deep into the pot and fills up the entire scooped out bagel, like a moat.
She takes this whipped cream cheese-filled bagel and puts it in the microwave for 20 seconds.
According to Banks, in the microwave,
“the molecular make up of that cream cheese starts to change, like a science project”
When you take it out of the microwave, it’s not just heated, oh no, it’s creamy and has a slight tartness that it didn’t have prior to the microwave.
@harpersbazaar Allow @tyrabanks to school you on the art of bagelization. 🥯 #breakfast #bagel #food #tyrabanks #tiktokrecipe
This bagel is now an iconic pop culture reference that I’ve got to try. However, I am weary as this is the same woman that claimed bread with butter and seasoning salt tastes like fried chicken.
Elvis Presley
How could I end this list without a nod to the infamous Elvis sandwich.
Susan Mohr/Unsplash
I’m sure you’ve heard of it, but in case you haven’t the sandwich consists of toasted bread with peanut butter, sliced or mashed banana, bacon and occasionally honey or jelly is seen in some variations of the sandwich. Whether Elvis Presley was the true creator of this heart attack sandwich or not, he sure has coined it.
Call me crazy but I tried this. The only part I’m a bit iffy on is the combination of mushy banana and crispy bacon, I don’t know how those two would tango on my tongue.