Ever listen to a song that was so bad, it makes you want to vomit out your ears? Yet, everyone else in the world just loves that song that made you deaf. I don’t understand why some songs get so popular when others don’t get any notice at all. Maybe it’s good marketing, timing on a release, or some people just like listening to bad music. Everything is subjective, but I feel there are songs that do not deserve to be number one. They should on fire in a trashcan. Here are five terrible songs that everyone should not love. To make this fairer, I’m going to talk about songs that had been on the Billboard top 100 and are in English. Obviously, there are over five, but I can only re-listen to so many awful songs in one day.
1: Informer (1992) Snow.
Hitting the number one spot on Billboard a Canadian artist, Darrin Kenneth O’Brien, or as his performing name Snow created top 100 spots for many weeks. His mashup of two styles of melody, Reggae, and Hip-Pop, birth this abomination song. Snow, the man who managed to fit 10 words in one syllable, composed such stirring lyrics, like “I’m sick and tired of the 5-0 running up on the block You know what I’m saying”? I don’t know what you are saying, but I know what you are telling me. Snow, your cringe writing style and lack of awareness of music theory with your bizarre verses may have been popular back in the 90s, but not for listening to it today. I rather buried my head into hot sand than chill with more of Snow’s awful music.
2: Little Girls (1981) Oingo Boingo.
To this day, Danny Elfman had scored one of the best music in film and he is one of the best composers in the world. From 1985 Tim Burton’s Pee-wee’s Big Adventure to the Grammy-winning score to the movie, Batman. Elfman has proven to be one of the best in his industry. Before all that, he was in the band called “Oingo Boingo and wrote the song, “Little Girls”. I understand that they made this song to be a satire of its time, but the music video for this doesn’t help if you watch it today. In these hypersensitive times, this controversial song with lyrics, “I like little girls. They make me feel so good. When they’re around, they make me feel like I’m the only guy in town”, will only not get an apology from the artist but will never work in mainstream music again. This disturbing song about a predator living out his dream is not something I want to listen to again.
3: Whip My Hair (2010) Willow.
This artist proves that just because you share DNA with famous talented artists, doesn’t mean you are talented. Regardless, this song also proves that equality exists and kids are just as capable as adults at creating utter trash. The song seems to written by a child who spent the better part of their childhood on some strange planet, came to earth to share the song of their people. I’m guessing the planet is Uranus because the song, “Whip my Hair” stinks. The annoying beat, heavy synthesizers, and static drums’ beat are just the tip of this genetic song. The lyrics are barely rememberable besides the too often said lines, “I whip my hair”. This line is said too many times, I don’t even care what she was trying to say with the rest of the song because it is not understandable. I like to think this song made Willow look in her mirror and remember she still a kid and not her father, Will Smith.
2: Perfect (2017) Ed Sheeran.
Ed Sheeran had written some wonderful songs in the past, Perfect isn’t one of them. Every time I hear this irritating song, I want to rip my ears off. This god awful lyrics, “I found a love, to carry more than secrets… To carry love..” Ed, you found love to carry your love? Did someone hit you over the head with a hammer? This is horrible and to think it came out of a guy like Ed Sheeran is baffling. The instrumental is standard for its time and lyrics sound like it came from a rejected episode of a daytime tv drama show. Not even the duet you do with Beyonce can save this song.
1: Weezer (1992-present)
I know I am cheating here because I’m talking about a band, not a song, but when every single song that a band makes is awful, I’m going to add the whole band to my list. Weezer, since the beginning of this band’s inception, it was never great. I have little time for this band dull lyrics like in the song “Beverly Hills”, it lacks any positive merit beside showing off how rich you are. Their instrumental style is so boring, it something you hear from the high school band a deaf teacher put together that. The nerdy style of poetic writing is so terrible, it will make Charles Bukowski spin in his grave. I don’t understand why many people think Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer of the band, is some kind of musical messiah. He’s basic at the best of times, and each new song he releases is just proving that his image of being a musical geek is a mirage. Yes, they have some successful albums such as the “Red Album” but every other new album that you going to release sounds the same as the last one, I rather just not even bother.
Some artists I listed have produced some great songs ( everyone but Weezer) and I’m sure they will make more. However, for every great song, they will always be one awful one. Nobody is perfect and I will not listen to awful songs. My name is Yuji and thank you for reading.