All my life my parents have always told me to find something I loved doing, and then try to make a career out of it. Well I probably took that way too seriously and now I find myself at a crossroads.
Throughout our childhoods we are constantly asked the question: “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, it was almost like a game and you could muster up some crazy, exciting idea and it didn’t matter if you said an astronaut or a secret service agent; at that age you felt like anything was possible. Then we grew up, reality kicked in and I realized my dream of becoming a pilot was dead due to my serious lack of math skills.
Fast forward to high school and we’re seriously being asked what is it we wanted to do when we graduated which was only two years away. I know people going into many different fields for many different reasons. There are those who are forced into professions by parents; the pressure to become successful in something they aren’t passionate about always there weighing on them and there are those the complete opposite; trying to make one of their passions a career.
Then there’s me, who has no idea.
I have put so much pressure on myself to find something that I enjoy doing. One of the biggest fears in my life is waking up everyday and having to go to a job that I’m not happy doing. This goal of mine of finding a career I love has caused me to waste two years at a university taking classes that won’t help me in my current program whatsoever. It’s a good thing that I believe everything happens for a reason so in my eyes those two years weren’t a complete waste.
Those two years helped me find the program I’m currently in but of course, because I want so badly to find something I enjoy I’m questioning again if it’s what I want to do. It feels like I’m stuck in a constant cycle of wondering if any job will ever make me happy, then I think about being Beyoncé and I’m pretty sure that would do the trick but unfortunately that’s not going to happen.
With all of this, I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude and remain confident that I’ll flourish in my program and find an outlet in which I can do something I love and makes a difference in at least some people’s lives.
Here’s to all of those adults out there that love what the do, and to all of those still trying to figure it out, I’m with you and it’ll be an adventure finding where I end up.