Do you ever wake up and ask yourself why this world can’t be a better place? Or what can I do to make my community and my world better? So many of us have questions, but few answers to why things are the way they are, and how we can mold things into what we’d like them to be.

You can sit down over a couple of drinks with friends and classmates, trying to figure out what to do and what to say. Some of you may have some good ideas, and some may have ideas that don’t make sense. However, it’s good that you’re thinking about it. Just thinking about what you can do to make our world a better place is a good start.  There are some things in life that you can’t control. But one thing you can control is yourself. How? I’ll tell you what I’ve learned.

Let me tell you my story and how I encountered this form of philosophy and way of living. Three years ago, I began my journey into martial arts. The first year was learning basic concepts and movements. Every night after class, I would go home exhausted. However, it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that got to me- it was the emotional rollercoaster I was going through. Every night while driving home, I would ask myself how this 140 lb classmate could throw me down and strangle me, when I outweighed him by 30 lbs!

Now my instructor is a very intelligent individual who can read people. He also keeps a close eye on his students—evaluating every movement you make and listening to how you speak. It didn’t dawn on me that through this, he was secretly managing his school but in a subtle, covert way. Then one night, just before going to bed, I was on social media and came across one of his posts. It read:

 

“Circumstances don’t make the man. They only reveal him to himself”

-Epictetus

Now, after reading this quote, I kept asking myself- What is this, and where did you get this? That night I kept nodding my head back and forth and repeating the quote repeatedly. The wheels in my head started to spin, and it made sense. This one little quote introduced me to the world of STOICISM.

 

Stoi- what? Stoicism. How would I describe it in plain simple language? I would say that it is words of wisdom, ethics, and consequentialism, meaning that the conduct of oneself is the ultimate basis for judgment about the rightness or wrongness of that conduct. As I dug deeper into the world of virtue and ethics, I kept asking myself why I wasn’t introduced to these topics back in my younger days. I would have saved myself from embarrassment and shame from saying wrong, inappropriate things. But thanks to Stoicism, I tell myself that everything happens for a reason.

The following are a couple of quotes to keep and read once in a while, and hopefully, they will help you in your day-to-day life.

“Do not correct a fool, or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you”

Unknown….

Is that a quote out from a fortune cookie, you ask? No, because fortune cookies weren’t invented when Confucious was alive. However, this saying is nothing but the truth, and something that I learned the hard way. Are you the type of person who wants to help someone when in need? Do you believe that it is your calling, when a friend or acquaintance needs help, to immediately give advice?  Those who know me know that I have been in positions of leadership and authority. I remember one new employee who I had to train. I gave him more of my time and attention because he was young and came from the place where I grew up. Next thing you know, he was talking behind my back, stating how I was trying to use him to beef up my own image as supervisor. So my lesson for you is to know your audience and don’t give advice unless you are asked.

 

“It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.”

Aeschylus….

Wow, I wish someone had told me about this when I was younger. This one quote would have saved me from a lot of false friendships. We all have our insecurities, regardless of how confident we are. Do you have a friend who jabs you with passive-aggressive words once in a while? My story with the above quote occurred while attending a functional fitness gym. I remember how this new classmate introduced himself, and at first I was skeptical of him, but eventually, I gave in because I wanted to build community. Finally, his true colors came out, and he would try and sabotage me.

 

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.”

Marcus Tullius Cicero

In life, we don’t always get what we want, and we must accept this because we don’t live in a perfect world. Do you wake up and start complaining about why things aren’t the way you wish they were? Waking up, breathing, getting up, and walking without pain is a gift itself. It is sometimes tempting to sit back, get caught up in our emotions, and be negative about it. However, just practice gratitude and being humble, and know that if things don’t go your way, something else will come in to fill that void.

Not that long ago, a wise man said to me that “health is wealth,” so many people in this world wish they could jump, pull and push everyday things just like you without any pain. That’s when I sat back and looked up into the sky, and without even a second thought, I thanked my lucky stars.  So my final words and my way of leaving a mark on you is: Do the right thing regardless. Practicing gratitude and living a life of integrity will bring years of beautiful memories, irrespective of where you are. Take life to the limit and show appreciation in every aspect of your journey.