Throughout my short lifetime, I have been in total of 4 relationships. Two that have been serious, one that was an inconvenient, dreadful decision on my part looking back at it now and one that was that perfect high school romance that lasted a grand total of 4 months. The two serious ones lasted longer than a year and in my opinion that’s a respectful amount of time to be involved with someone for an early twenty year old. Now of course on of those relationships has ended, and yes it was sad. I cried and experienced true heart break. I was in love and then dumped. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but it can be years later. Looking back on it now, if I hadn’t been in that relationship I wouldn’t know what I look for, what my type is and I wouldn’t know what being loved felt like. He loved me, as deeply as one person could love another and while that love has been lost, I believe it existed and burned brightly during that time. However as the saying goes, thank you next.
Along came my next and current man and I have been head over heels for the past year and a half we’ve been together. I mean I already know the location of our wedding so you could say it’s pretty serious. It hasn’t been all easy though I’ll admit, mostly because of one thing; living 1.5 hours away from each other.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Amara, really? An hour and a half is nothing, that’s not even long distance at all”. And while you’re right, it’s not really long distance, when it’s love, even 10 minutes away can feel like far away.
Take my mini dilemma of an hour and a half and throw it in the garbage, because my brother wins hands down when it comes to long distance. We live in the lower mainland here in BC, Canada. You know that BC is in Canada but I had to specify because my brothers girlfriend doesn’t live in this country. That’s right, they’ve taken long distance to another level. She is from Toronto originally so yay for being Canadian, but currently resides in Kentucky. Yes Louisville, Kentucky in the United States of America. That’s a 38 hour drive. Their relationship consists mostly of Face time dates, which can be super cute at times, but come on, if you want a hug you can’t have one! Unless you jump on a plane, which in theory would be super romantic, but not super realistic.
While there isn’t a large supply of hugs with the whole long distance thing, there are some perks. That’s why I’ve decided to compile a pros and cons list on long distance relationships.
Let’s start off with why it sucks.
-don’t see each other often (pretty obvious I know, but it’s a big one)
-limited supply of physical contact
-no one to go with you on outings (dinner/clubbing/out with friends/plus one to events)
-expensive phone/internet bill
-more fighting because you get tired of not seeing the person
-lack of/mixed communication (sometimes it’s hard to decipher what people mean through texts)
-don’t know what they’re like during everyday life, only during the special weekends when you see each other
-you can hang up the phone and walk away during an argument and they won’t be around to stop you/chase after you
-you can do what you want, when you want (no I don’t mean cheating, I mean like getting Chinese food at 2am because you want to and you don’t have to cater to your significant other not wanting Chinese food at 2am)
-having the bed all to yourself (I hate sharing my bed tbh)
-being able to be out with friends without having someone at home worried about/nagging you
-more time to spend working on yourself or to do things you enjoy doing by yourself
-not having to watch what the other person wants (it’s your Netflix, if you want to re-watch The Office for the 6th time do it, there’s no one around to tell you not to)
-distance makes the heart grow fonder…you’ll miss each other so much which means when you finally see each other it’s even more special
And there will be many more pros and cons dependent on your long distance relationship situation. Some people can make it work and good for them, it takes a great deal of patience and understanding. For those who can, I commend you and for those of you who can’t, I’m with you. I can’t stand to not see my man at least once a week, life gets busy but remember to make time for that special someone in your life, it’s worth it.