You’ve been there. You’re sitting in the car with your significant other, staring at each other because neither of you can decide where to go to eat. I know I have, and as someone who is super indecisive, and dating someone who is the same way it’s beyond frustrating.
I’ve gathered that my indecisiveness comes from a few different things.
First would be growing up with three other very opinionated people, and being the youngest too. You’re probably thinking, what does being the youngest have to do with anything . Well I’ll tell ya, whenever I decided something, like where to go to eat or what movie to watch that weekend I was always criticized and then overruled either by my big brother or my mom. My dad and I always enjoyed similar thing so we usually agreed on where to go and what to do, but the other two; no way! They would never agree to anything I suggested and I think that’s why I became less confident when it came to making decisions.
That’s why I love doing things alone. If I’m alone and I want to go somewhere to eat, easy I go there, I plan according to what I want to do and that’s that. There’s no one else to please. And I think that’s why so many of us are indecisive, we like to please those around us.
That, or sometimes there really is too many options to choose from. I know I can never decide where to eat cause I am a foodie and enjoy so many things.
If you’re someone who’s indecisive, I have some tips for you, so you can be confident in your decisions and don’t need to worry about pleasing everyone else. And if it’s because you’re scared of responsibility, well I have news for you, suck it up; responsibility is inevitable.
Tip number one: make a schedule. If you’re finding yourself indecisiveness within a group of people, every time there’s a decision to be made go through the cycle. One day you guys go out it’s one person’s decision, the next time it’s the next person and so on and so forth. That way everyone has the chance to make a decision and choose what they want.
Tip two: don’t think about the repercussions of your decision. Don’t sit there thinking “what if this person doesn’t like what I pick”. Don’t doubt your decision and think about what others think of it. Own your decision and who cares what people think, they’ll get their turn to decide!
Tip number three: do what scares you! If you find yourself stumped and really can’t decide, choose the option you wouldn’t normally pick. Sometimes trying new things can be really exciting and lead to some really fun moments!
Here’s an important one for number 4 -get rid of the idea of perfection. There’s no such thing! I do this all of the time, me and my friends are going out and I decide where to go, I’m constantly wondering if they’re having as good time and if I made a good decision. You have to stop this, there’s no such thing as a perfect night out and just because you chose what to do, doesn’t mean it’s your fault if the night ends up being kinda meh.
And last, trust yourself! You’re a fun person, you have fun by yourself, what’s to say other people won’t have fun doing the things that you enjoy. And if the people around you are constantly bashing the decisions you make, it’s time to consider changing who you have around you. Give yourself some credit and find some people that enjoy doing the things that you like!
I’m indecisive as hell and I’ve really been trying to change it, maybe I’ll be confident in my decisions eventually but it’s definitely going to take some time and effort!