Dealing with strict parents is hard. You want to be able to experience things without being held back. You want to share your wildest stories, but you know you’ll get in more trouble for it. Coming from experience, I know how it feels to deal with strict parents on a day to day basis. So how was I able to gain my freedom that I have now?
Growing up my mother always kept a close eye on my brother and I. She was very observant and proactive in what her kids were involved in or who they were friends with. I’ve never been to a birthday party as a kid and I’ve only went to my friends house once under my mom’s approval. I never understood why my mom was so overprotective of us until I got older.
Once I reached high school, I started to rebel. I did my own thing and maneuvered my way closer to a free-er lifestyle. Obviously it was cut because I would get caught from time-to-time. Nothing new when you’re a teenager. My real freedom kicked in once I graduated high school. I finally was able to put my foot down and tell my parents that enough was enough. I can come home at two or three in the morning without it being too much of an issue. How did I get to this point so successfully?
I sat with my mother one day and we talked for hours. We both expressed our frustrations, hers being a mother and protecting us while mine was scavenging for more freedom. I finally understood why she was so protective over the years. My mother came to Canada without my dad since he continued to work in Dubai for a good 5-10 years. My mother was raising me and my brother on her own, and with that came a lot of responsibility. My mother was afraid she would lose us, so she kept her protective belt on. Even when my dad did come back permanently, she continued to wear that protective belt for years.
I was able to communicate with her, reassuring her that my brother and I have grown up. We are responsible and we are willing to stay safe at all costs without worrying my mother all the time. I always call and text my mom when I’m out the house to make sure she’s at ease with everything. I’m more honest with her and our relationship has definitely gotten a lot stronger since then.
I also had to push for my own freedom. Instead of asking my parents to go out, I would change my statement to, ‘I’m going out tomorrow.’ Making it less of a question and more of a statement. As I’m getting older, she’s slowly removing that protective belt she had clutched on for so long.
So if your parents are crazy strict, who knows maybe my advice and experiences might help. It may help some but not everyone. People deal with different situations regarding strict parents, but who knows maybe this might spark something in those reading. Communication really goes a long way and all parents really want is reassurance and responsibility from your end. Did you grow up with strict parents? If so, have you gotten out of the protective shell?